Yes, this is a true question I’m often asked by a lot of well-meaning kind souls who have read Bonnie’s Story a Blonde’s Guide to Mathematics. I really don’t know how serious they are when they ask this question, though I tend to take it more as a tongue in cheek comment and just smile and nod politely. I mean, seriously… let me sell one hundred books before we get too mad people! 😉

But, if I was to jump into the unrealistic world of some talented Movie Producer stumbling over my book, falling in love with it and trying to buy the movie rights… I can’t say I’d actually accept it. No matter how many millions they flashed at me. Thankfully, in the real world, this isn’t an issue so we can all relax. Though, wearing my unrealistic world hat and being thrust into that situation, I love Bonnie’s Story too much to have it taken and ripped apart and put back together again in someone else’s view of how it should be. I don’t want the heart ache of being an author whose only credit to a movie is ‘Based on characters created by…’ as this translates to they’ve taken the names and concepts of your story and used them… while throwing the rest away and making up new stuff and calling it the real story. I’ve seen it happen before and it totally ruins a good book and a good story. I mean, I write and get published as I have a story to tell, not sell. I leave most of the descriptions of people and places vague in such a way that it allows the reader to fill in who they want to see and a place they can relate to. I don’t want to dictate who they look like or what their place looks like to precise details. Readers are smart and tend to have a brilliant imagination, why ruin the fun for them?

And can I take the unrealistic world hat off as it’s messing my hair and clashes with my ‘Author’ badge? No glitter either… just saying.

But it does raise a good question – are you in it for the story or fame and fortune? Not trying to belittle myself or my work here… but I’m in it for the story! If the rest comes can I request the fortune without the fame? As I like being a nobody when out and about. 😉 Though, I am good at writing and I do feel my stories have a lot to offer the right reader. I’m just trying to find enough of the right reader to share it with!

The thrill for me with my books, once the writing is all done and it’s out there, is when I get a review from someone and they got what I was trying to tell. They were amused at what I hoped were the funny bits, touched and brought to tears by the same bits I sat there blubbing like a big girl’s blouse while I wrote it, that is my fame, my fortune, as good as a movie deal. My story was told, it was enjoyed and they happen to write about it to tell me (and the rest of the world) I got it right! Yes!

I really don’t want to harp on about ‘it’s all about the joy of being an author, blah de blah’ as remember – there are millions of us out there. But for anyone wanting to be known as a writer or an author I do like to just point out the real world. You may enjoy wearing the unrealistic world hat and expecting to rake it in with your work and kudos to those who achieve it! For the rest of us, for heaven’s sake – just be proud of your work no matter how small the response to it is. Well done you for writing a story, for getting it out there (whether by blog, self-publishing or through a publisher) and having people like it. You did it! Go get a party popper and dance in the streamers! No, I’m actually not being sarcastic here, I mean it. Be proud of who you are and what you’ve achieved. It’s really my opinion on everyone actually, not just writers and authors. Don’t get bogged down in the shoulda, woulda, coulda of the world, the ‘if only…’ and fail to notice what you actually have, what you’ve actually done and how clever you are for doing it.

Oh look, a waffle about being a writer, unrealistic dreams and a pep talk. What lucky, lucky readers you are this week! 😉

Seriously though, when I wrote Bonnie’s Story a Blonde’s Guide to Mathematics I did happen to picture Damian Lewis (in a Soames like persona) as Sylvester. Since finishing the story I have happened to come across a fellow called Dimitri Leonidas and, to me, he just screams Rogan… but please don’t let that cloud your judgement as to what they really look like. They look like who you feel they look like. Though, yeah, Dimitri in a flannel shirt and shabby jeans – Wow! It was a scary moment when I was looking up something and saw Rogan staring at me from the Internet. 😀

To end my blog with the trifecta of writing waffle, pep talk and my mothering nature… anyone out there trying to toilet train a boy and you’ve gotten to the peeing standing up stage and he’s showing no interest. This week I’ve discovered the clever trick of putting a ping pong ball in the toilet bowl and asking my four year old to move it about the bowl with his pee. Sorry to all you non parents out there now cringing and fleeing my TMI moment but to those with boys – Life. Saver.

My last piece of sage advice to this though is – don’t use your daughter’s favourite pink ping pong ball and then let them flush the loo before you’ve used the scoop to retrieve it. Um yeah… let’s just say said favourite ball is now ‘drying somewhere safe’. AKA – will amazingly be returned to daughter once a suitable substitute can be found in the shops, snuck home and slipped into her room as if it’s been there the whole time. Oh yeah, I’m a sneaky mummy. If I can have the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and Santa’s email address for weekly emails to them on my kid’s behaviour, I can assure you I’m capable of nearly anything. Not had to have a pet miraculously change colour though. I was raised rural and death is a reality that is best taught with pets before people.

And that is how you waffle boys and girls. 😉

Until next time,

Janis. XXOO.