Bonnie’s blog posts
The folowing are blog posts by Bonnie (from Bonnie’s Story: A Blonde’s Guide to Mathematics) as they appeared on her Facebook page, starting back in September 2013.
It’s all one big page (as it’s all WordPress seems to let me do), but each post is seperated by the date – and sometimes title – of when they originally appeared on Facebook.
Read, enjoy and like. But please remember these works belong to Me, are part of the copyrighted work of Bonnie’s Story and are not free for you to take and use elsewhere.
Thank you – Janis
First ever post – appeared on Facebook September, 2013.
So this week may not have started out well, but since drugging Clara’s soda and dying a bit of her hair green, most of the gang seem to have a smile on their face every time she enters the room. It’s also stopped Clara from referring to me as a green streak of, well, YOU know what… so quite frankly win win!
In other news, Rogan took me to Paris again on the weekend. I should really try and supress my groans more and not whine… but the fact it takes me a day to recover either end of the Maths travel does tend to kill the mood as to why he was taking me there in the first place. No, it wasn’t for another snow dome. No I WON’T say what it was for. You have an imagination – use it!
Quite frankly things have been a bit dull besides that. I mean yes, annoying the crud out of Clara is always a blast and yeah, Paris for a romantic weekend any time I want IS pretty awesome. Though coming home to see what the rest of The Gang has gotten up to in my beloved home is another matter. WHY they felt an all-night gaming session in MY lounge was appropriate behaviour, I will never know. Sadly, it also means I owe their ‘swear jar’ about ten dollars and their ‘Bonnie must not coerce us’ jar at least fifty. But damn it, they started it!
Now that it’s September again, it’s hard to imagine I’ve been part of this zany world of Maths and mystery for a year now. Here’s hoping the next year isn’t full of as many nasty surprises. Though Rogan has been saying he needs to sit me down for another lesson on exactly what it is his Maths can do. Damn him.
This post first appeared on Bonnie’s Facebook page on September 13th, 2013.
Bonnie’s Diary 2 – a Visit to St. Marks Square.
This week it started with a milkshake. And not just any old milkshake I assure you!
Firstly, Rogan picked me up from work in a swirl of smoky blue Maths That Stays and whipped me off to Venice! Yes, THE Venice! That city in the lake in Italy filled with ancient beauty and all that.
After giving me the required time to get over the Maths Travel, Rogan and I strolled the walkways until we were in what is known as the heart of Venice – the Piazza San Marco. Or St. Mark’s Square to we uneducated heathen. The fact it led to some of the major fashion shops – And I’m talking HIGH Italian fashion here – was not ignored by my tourist tragic heart. And as much as THAT was where I wanted him to take me, instead I was ushered to a small palace – that called itself a café – for a milkshake. Mind you, calling it a milkshake is the same as calling the near three hundred year old gilt and gorgeous place of dining a café. I mean, come on people there was an orchestra IN TUXEDO playing for our pleasure. Dear God I had my hopes set high after such surroundings, and boy was I not let down with what was brought out. Calling it a milkshake does NOT do it justice. It did have frothed milk in it, but with the spindles of real chocolate melted through it, the delicate mountain of real whipped cream and more melted chocolate… it was more an edible piece of art than a mere milky drink.
Then there was the gelato, the scones and the ham sandwiches. Seriously, just reading it like that sounds like a dull afternoon out, but I promise you it wasn’t. Referring to the food we had by such titles as ‘a ham and cheese sanger’ was like comparing Clipsal as ‘that little thing with cars we do to replace the Grand Prix’. SUCH an understatement.
I did get to drool over the fashion shops afterwards, and even let Rogan convince me into using some of his ill-gotten gains for a new pair of sandals for the coming summer. Then the hot chocolate and coffee cake to end all hot chocolates and coffee cakes back at the Café Florian before the trip home. Once I’d gotten over the trip, and the price of our food bill – it put the shoes on the cheap side, I can tell you – Rogan got the much desired thank you he so deserved. He also now knows that the next time he REALLY pisses me off, a weekend there would go a long way to restoring my faith in him.
Ahh Rogan, sometimes being with you is like being on the honeymoon without all that fuss and silly white dress part that comes first. Not that the slack bugger has ever gotten around to even touching on that subject. Let’s get him off the Moon permanently first, right?
From September 20th, 2013.
Bonnie’s Dairy week 3 – What makes a good chocolate?
Seriously, this week the main focus seemed to come down to what makes a good chocolate. Some of The Gang tried to tell me it was all down to the price, location and lineage while others felt it wise to back me up saying it came down to the quality of the ingredients, the passion put in to it and the skill of a dyed in the wool chocolatier. I didn’t even have to coerce them, go team!
Yeah, I just sort of gave away my opinion didn’t I? But come on, MUST we go on all week about it? If the chocolatier is pure of heart in their love and passion of their trade, if their ingredients are a perfection of freshness and quality, it does NOT matter where they are from, whether they are world famous or the location it is made in. Now aint THAT a run on sentence?
The best thing that came out of the week’s near continuous discussion was when members of The Gang brought samples to the table, literally, to get their point across. That is, except Clara… I swear she only contributed those kisses just to annoy me.
Okay world, so who’s side are YOU on?
From September 27th, 2013.
So, can I just say NEVER watch science fiction films with The Gang, especially not Rogan. You’d think, and I will emphasis YOU’D THINK that they’d spend the whole time picking holes in the science side of things and throwing popcorn at the screen – nope!
They take notes. NOTES! And then sit around for hours afterwards talking about the feasibility of creating some small device that was seen for like five minutes in a two hour film. And, Oh My God! I watched this one with them about a guy and a video game and a space adventure… the guy wore a flannel shirt and had the last name of Rogan! I was expecting shifty looks all round and another ‘Things that need to be explained to Bonnie’ item added to the ever growing list. Instead he burst out laughing, said the movie guy looked like a dork and proudly proclaimed at least he was called Rogan due to liking the curry, rather than being born with it. Yeah, like Durand is SO much better?
After a rather excruciating four hour debate on which came first, the smart phone tablet or the Star Trek PADD, I ended up banning them from movie night at my place. Then, after giving them a rather stern lecture on the difference between REAL science and science fiction… well, let’s just say I’m pretty sure they won’t be talking about it around me again anytime soon.
Yes I KNOW a lot of what they get up to really comes under science fiction than fact, but a girl has to draw the line somewhere, right?
From october 5th, 2013.
No I DON’T owe the ‘must not coerce’ jar fifty dollars, no I WON’T apologise to Baloney and Jelly and I’m as sure as… sugar… not going to give them back the damned diaries they felt a need to write to prove mine are so boring.
I really don’t care what they say, the world does not need my Facebook page sullied with things like ‘The worlds fifty best places to find a decent loo’ – thank you Jelly – or ‘How the architecture of sewers in France outweighs the overly pompous ones of England’. I mean come on Baloney, what ever happened to short, sharp and shiny titles here? We won’t go into the actual content either!
The next time I decide to ask for input as to what to put in my weekly posts, I know which two people to avoid.
And, no, I won’t publish the poem I wrote about ‘Ode to the surly cow with the green streaked hair’… but that was only because Rogan got the better of me on that one and not because it would hurt a certain annoying person’s feelings.
Oh, good. Rogan is back with the chocolate. Though why he feels I’m in a very grumpy mood right now, I have no idea. I felt I’d been hiding it all quite well.
From October 10th, 2013.
So anyway, I discovered Jelly could cook right, when we were camping out at my Grandfather’s old farm. And yet the Moon is ALWAYS riddled with takeaway containers of all types and not a home cooked meal is in sight. I mean, I find myself having to stand in their poor excuse for a kitchen with a Death Stare at The Gang once a week to ensure it stops becoming a pizza carton graveyard again. Hey, a girl’s got to have a hobby, right?
WHY won’t Jelly cook on the Moon and would rather live off an international selection of fast food? Fire Hazard. I kid you not, THAT is the excuse he uses. Well, I thought it was an excuse until I convinced him to come cook at my place. Thank the Lord for smoke detectors, fire blankets and those handy dandy portable little fire extinguishers I keep under the sink. We saved the majority of the kitchen… but the curtains hung too low from the window over the sink and someone now owes me a trip to Spotlight for some new ones.
Apparently he CAN cook, but thanks to exactly when it was he joined the Moon, electrical cookery devices are a little out of his league. That, and being a former surfer boy he is better at a barbie.
Thankfully I’m not that attached to my over grown backyard and so the odd burnt patch out there isn’t such a biggie.
From October 18th, 2013.
My first attempt at crib notes on The Gang. It’s not much, but to be honest, the more I tried to learn things about some of these fellows, the more I sort of regretted going to the effort of it all. So, in no particular order, here we go!
Nimirlan – ALWAYS, and I just wish I could underline on Facebook, ALWAYS be on the same side as him when playing cricket. It doesn’t matter if it’s beach, backyard or just a casual hit down at the park. It is far better to NOT be on the receiving end of him and a cricket ball. Mind you NEVER trust his judgement on the spiciness of food. I have the curled nose hairs and melted lipstick to prove his version of mild and mine don’t mean the same thing.
Baloney – NEVER tell him 1920’s jazz is only good to shake your boobs to, his face goes the same colour of his hair. Though ALWAYS let him be your dance partner. His quantum mechanics may leave a lot to be desired, but he is light on his feet and rather dashing in a tango. Don’t. Tell. Rogan.
Jelly– He can cook, we know that. He can surf… or so he tells me but I’ve never seen him eager to hit the beach. Though I will say I have discovered he has no visible tan line… anywhere. But that was honestly an accident and again – let’s not tell Rogan, okay?
Clara – well, is there really much point in even bothering? She may be science smart but she’s just downright rude and callous about the important stuff. Like when being asked if someone is using the bathroom, actually telling the truth rather than looking all innocent, saying there isn’t and letting me walk in and discover Jelly’s lack of a tan line.
Rogan – oh where to start while keeping it short, sharp and shiny? He is everything to me while still being the most annoyingly frustrating person I’ve ever met. Still, he keeps me on my toes and keeps life interesting. And that’s even before he twirls his fingers and makes Maths appear in thin air.
From October 24th, 2013.
An update from Rogan…
Sadly Bonnie is unable to post this week, and so you get to hear something more sensible from me, Rogan. I won’t go into WHY exactly she cannot post, as she will no doubt be checking up on my posts when she is over her sulk. I will say, however, that as much as I love that woman, she drives me to distraction more than I can explain. But I will try…
Bonnie has this amazing persona that wraps the world around her and makes it part of herself without even knowing she’s done it. Yet the most frustrating thing about her is her opinion that she is always right and the rest of the world is just taking its sweet time to come to realise that fact. And damn I hate it when the world seems to prove this too.
As to me? What am I and what do I do? So many things and so little of it can I ever speak about here. Still, what we do, The Gang and I, is important. The knowledge we’ve gained, the secrets we keep, you will thank us one day.
Anyone have an idea as to what beats chocolate dipped strawberries in a spring meadow full of wild flowers and birdsong? Yeah, I have some major apologising to do.
From November 1st, 2013.
[Extract from Bonnie]
Oh for pity’s sake, I was NOT sulking last week! I was making a formal protest against certain inhabitants of the Moon. Just because they didn’t seem to notice, that’s not my fault. I could say they were ‘bum with both hands’ sorts who do NOT notice… but who would understand that? Perhaps if I added the words ‘Can’t find their…’ at the beginning?
So, anyway, why was I staging a formal protest? Guess! Yes, Clara. It started with her complaining that I never paid what I owed to the swear jar. My response was that I simply didn’t swear as much as they all thought I did. And so the DEAR so and so decided to prove it with a drinking game with The Gang. They were to take a drink every time I swore. I don’t know HOW it degraded to drunken stupidity so quickly, as I tried my damnedest to ignore Clara’s goading. The fact they seemed to include ‘bloody’, ‘damn’, stupid’ and ‘cow’ as swear words… well they deserve the hang overs they got. Idiots.
It was still sweet of Rogan to take me to sit on top of one of the pyramids of Giza in the moonlight. Technically I don’t think we were MEANT to be able to do it… but since when has that ever stopped my man?
From November 8th, 2013.
SPECIAL POST!!! This is a ‘What if’ scenario that may or may not be part of the Bonnie’s Story sequel.
For now, simply titled: ‘Here be dragons’. Enjoy!
And so I found myself being led through another one of those shabby little doors the Moon crew could make on any vertical surface that held a repetitious pattern. Only this shabby little door was hidden behind one of the largest slate blackboards in Rogan’s thinking room. The blackboard was on wheels, so in theory could be moved, but you’d really want a bloody good reason to give yourself a hernia trying to.
And yet, there it was, a rough looking wooden door with pale blue paint peeling off it in places. It had one of those red, white and black signs that have ‘DANGER’ on them in big bold letters. Some numpty, yes I was thinking of blaming my darling boyfriend Rogan, had hand written ‘Here be dragons’ underneath it in red pen.
“So this is your big surprise date idea?” I was honestly trying to sound polite but the situation was just screaming for scornful cynicism, “Taking me to meet ‘dragons’ for the afternoon?”
Rogan gave me a hurt and hard done by look. He was very good at those.
“Bunny my love, you’re the one who wanted me to prove mathematics is the real source of magic in this world. And, I will have you know, this trip also counts as me showing you one of my deeper, darker secrets.” He then rolled his eyes at my inevitable ladylike snort of contempt.
“After the last deep and dark secret you shared with me, you promised to make that a bi-annual event as I can’t afford the therapy” I scoffed, but was feeling the tug of his determination and frustration in our shared emotional link. Oh damn the rat fink.
“Fine!” I relented in best hurt diva tones, throwing up my hands and moving across the room to where he stood by the door. “Show me to the dragons, amaze me.” Yeah, scornful cynicism is hard to shake off that quickly, I know.
I then allowed Rogan’s hell bent 1800’s chivalry to take over as he not only held the door open, but then ushered me through and closed it behind us. I looked about, not really knowing what I was expecting, but thinking it should have been better than what I really saw.
Best way to describe it was like one those below stairs areas at hotels or hospitals that are full of giant pipes and similar metallic apparatus moulded into the ceilings and walls, all hissing steam and dripping water. The room had pale blue painted brick walls, wet cement floors and echoey silence. I was expecting it to smell like an old toilet, or at least the over powering odour of bleach. Instead it smelt like… Fresh cut lawn? A forest after rain? Was I having a stroke?
I glanced at Rogan, who had kept his distance and still stood by the door while I was taking it all in. He glanced at something at the far end of the room I’d not yet looked over and then back at me. Oh honey, the one thing you are is not subtle.
I glanced over there myself and almost snorted with contempt out of the sheer ludicrousness of what I saw. It looked like one of those gaming tables I’d seen in my youth, when dragged along to dull afternoons, by my brother, to various scout halls. It was a fold out trestle table where they’d made a model of green, lush, hilly country side and spotted it with various ruins and shrubbery. All it needed was some model army pieces (human, ogre, skeleton, I’d seen them all) and two guys with major BO and poor tastes in T-shirt designs arguing heatedly over what the dice one of them was holding showed versus what the tape measure the other one was holding indicated it should be. Ahh, the memories. Gag!
“Is it wrong of me to assume you’re a Napoleon army follower?” I asked, trying more for good natured humour than my previous cynicism.
If the look he gave me wasn’t enough, the chill in our shared emotions would have given me the hint.
“Bonnie…” Uh-oh, he was using his patient while still restrained tone on me. No foot rubs tonight if I didn’t start to behave. “Open your mind to the possibilities my love, look past your old life.” He went on calmly. “And for Heaven’s sake pull that stick out of your arse and actually look at the table!” Ooh, I felt the tug of his newly found coercive skills. It was, however, like a butterfly fluttering against my face, silly boy. Still, I turned back to the table and walked over to it. The scent of forests and other greenery increased and I found myself having to really concentrate as I looked at the table. Although I swear it really was just some war gamer’s model table, as I looked at it I almost felt like I was looking out over real living countryside from a distance. Old trees and castle ruins out in the middle of rolling green fields on a sunny spring day. What was even stranger were the multi-coloured oval shaped ornaments I now noticed hanging from every tree and part of a ruin that gave them purchase. They shimmered, adding to the illusion of some invisible sun shining down. They were like jewelled pearl drop earrings had been scattered about the model. Some of which would have really gone nicely with my latest tinting too, I might add.
On top of the tallest hill of the model, hanging from what appeared to be an ancient oak, hung one earring like thing that drew my attention. And, as I moved closer to study it further, it unfurled a long scaly neck and a horse like head turned towards me to study me back. Then, as I suddenly found it hard to believe, it also unfurled leathery bat like wings and left its perch to fly upwards towards me, growing bigger as it did so. As it approached, so did Rogan and as he stood by my side he extended a hand and the match box sized Dragon gently landed on his palm.
“Bonnie, my love.” He said in a revered tone, “Meet the creator of all mathematics mistakenly seen as magic.” He hadn’t looked that smug in a very long time.
“But it’s a freaking dragon!” I squeaked. Yes, I am the Queen of stating the blindingly obvious. Still, I hadn’t used the F word I’d wanted to and I didn’t even pass out of throw up, also like I really wanted to.
From November 14th, 2013.
Bonnie explains Maths That Stays
Rogan thought it would be nice if we wrote a post together for once. He felt explaining Maths That Stays would be fun. He just didn’t want to explain it so well as to allow other people to use it too. Yes, I did sigh and give him my look.
So, here we are, writing together. Well, I’m writing and he’s telling, I mean SUGGESTING to me what to write. He is SUCH a backseat driver and no I am NOT deleting that as I meant every word.
Someone is going to get more than just his hand smacked if he tries taking over the keyboard again too!
Maths That Stays, in Rogan’s own words is a line of algorithmic calculations, based on a quantum level of ‘understanding the universe itself’, that can manifest in a near physical form when linked to the appropriate equation. When used correctly, with a viable point of reference (say a picture of a fixed object), can activate a final destination quadrant of said algorithms so that they manifest into a successful conjunction, giving the desired result.
Yeah, I always roll my eyes when he puts it like that too. Clear as mud, even if you understand the jargon he is using. Sadly, the ladylike snort I gave while having to write it out has had him leave in a huff. He’s such a show off with a fragile ego. I’ll make it up to him later.
So it’s just good old Bonnie to explain it now. Yay? Basically Rogan has a whole heap of mathematical equations written down everywhere. Most of them are kept in his ‘Thinking room’ on the Moon, but I believe some of it is kept in other locations around the world as a sort of back up. He always gets shifty when I ask him so it’s pretty much a sure bet they’re out there. If you ever see a string of numbers or graffiti that looks more like an equation than a tag… I’d keep an eye on it, just saying.
So, these equations and how it all came about. Now, this part I’m not too sure on, but Rogan basically got so distracted with trying to work out a problem one night that he didn’t realise he’d run out of space when writing on a board and was actually writing in thin air. And these equations and symbols were still appearing, as if written down… in the air. No, don’t call it magic… I’ve had that lecture and still remember the headache.
When The Gang make Maths That Stays appear, they are somehow linking to these other equations that exist on the boards (and elsewhere). How, again not too sure, which was why Rogan was meant to stick around. But I do know they start out by making a sort of ‘does not equal to’ symbol and just keep writing from there. So, three straight lines with another line through them and then anything else they write in the air STAYS – like expensive smoke swirling around them. I WAS meant to be shown how to do it, as you can’t wave your fingers and there it is, but I’m still waiting. Apparently you can’t just do it, you’re meant to be able to understand the meaning of the maths before it will manifest. Yeah, I rolled my eyes at that explanation too.
What I do know is Maths That Stays is a by-product of something bigger, something I can’t fully explain as I seem to only be getting part of the story from The Gang. But that room of equations of Rogan’s is almost like a nest that creates the rest. The Moon, Hidden Logic, Maths That Stays, Pockets in Time, Dodo Radio – all of it! What the hell sort of equation he wrote to make this all, I really don’t know, but I’m fairly certain it’s not one you’ll find in a published text book anywhere.
I’m fairly certain my explanation has either clarified it all, or left you just as confused as before. I just wanted you to know it works, don’t call it magic and realise it’s a bigger deal than originally thought when you feel that goose bump inducing wave of energy wash over you and the smoky symbols begin to dance around.
More to follow soon…
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