Okay, so I’ve been thinking long and hard and really couldn’t find any inspiring author type wisdom to bestow this week. So I thought, meh! Would you rather I skipped a week of posting? Or just waffled about something else?

And yes, yes I did go with waffling about something else. But! It won’t be a waffle about waffles… which I know one of my friends does love me doing. Seriously, it can get even more confusing than the good old Abbott and Costello ‘Who’s on first, What’s on second’.

Instead, I bring you the day in the life of this Author. You lucky, lucky reader you! Today in fact! It started well with a bunch of grumpy, hungry Hordes (the kids), a sleep deprived (thanks to late shift) grumpy husband and me in top stellar grumpy mode from having not had breakfast and deciding to be out in the public in a foul mood. Yes, not a morning person… not a nice person on an empty stomach. I’m just great to be around some mornings. 😉

Still, a trip to the local Adelaide Hills Farmer’s Market for local egg and bacon rolls (all local, including the sour dough rolls and tomato sauce) and sanity and pleasantness was restored. I just wish they did hot chocolate there too… no biggie! We then shopped a bit more at the markets, chatted to family and friends alike had a fab morning in the sun.

After the socialising and essential buying of locally made cakes, bread and what not we decided to really put ourselves (we parents of the group) further into hell by deciding to take the hordes to the local stock feed store for new additions to the family. Now, let me just say I am a rural girl through and through and love visiting a stock feed store! It’s just one of those things from my childhood… don’t ask, I can’t explain.

But the one we have here isn’t the drive through type I grew up with, it’s one you park at and get to wander through. Why? Because they sell stock too! No, not horses, cows, pigs, the usual stock I was used to. Chickens, other poultry and aviary birds, rabbits and guinea pigs, mini stock? Stock lite? Basically we were there for some guinea pigs as we lost of first one a few months ago. No, not literally lost, we know where he is… buried under a special rock in the garden. That kind of lost. And, after a few months to let the hordes get over the loss, we decided it was time for new guinea pigs. Why replace one with three? Well, Barry (said passed GP) was personality plus. I have never met a guinea pig that had his attitude to life… yes, I’ve known a few. And so, as they all had ideas for what to get, we got them one each. All boys. Why? Well, for one thing the boy/ girl ratio in our household was severely uneven and the boys kept complaining about it… three boys to eight girls, and the problem is? But seriously, the main reason was the lovely lady selling them to us couldn’t guarantee the female guinea pigs weren’t pregnant and I was adamant three was all we wanted.

I will just say here that there were some gorgeous and huge rabbits there! And I mean as big as a dog (and not a small one either) big! They’re known as giant New Zealand rabbits and I think I now know why they film the Lord of the Rings movies there… Easy to convert the bloody big rabbit holes into Hobbit ones! And, yes, I would dearly love one of those giant beauties too! But, we have a bunny… a little dwarf lop that would look like a hairball next to these guys.  Still, I know what I’m saving up for when said wee bunny goes to join Barry in the garden. They’re $50 a bunny! But you could almost be paying that per kilo as they really look like meat rabbits. Possibly the reason I want one. No, not to eat it, to feel I saved it from being eaten. Though rabbit is good eating…. Just saying.

Still, as much as I would love one, not now. And no, fans (do I really have any?) shouldn’t feel the need to race out and buy me one as an anonymous present of appreciation. You want to spend that much money on an animal for a stranger go to Childfund Australia, Oxfam, Unicef, etc and go buy a goat or some chickens for a village somewhere. They need it more and you’ll be a better person for doing it. 😉 Besides chocolate is easier to post. Not the cheap stuff mind – I am rather picky. 😉

And so we have three new boys in the house… bring the ratio to six vs eight. Yeah, like that will make a difference. Bonnie didn’t get her balls from my imagination people. 😉 And these lovely little boys (still really just babies) are now named (in order of the Horde naming them from oldest to youngest): Max the Rock star, Hazel and… and I quote ‘Afraid of Thunder with the Very Big Butt and a Bum Crack’. *sigh* No, no I have no idea why my son has something for  butts and I just hope he grows out of it by the time he gives me grandchildren. As he is only four… there is hope!

Did I mention the names they gave the chickens when we got them a few months ago? Again, named from oldest to youngest horde: Poppy, Nina and… ‘Scratchy with the Very Big Butt and a Huge Bottom’. He’s only four, he’s only four… must remember that. He’s only four.

So anyhow, after getting home and having a bonding and naming session with the new boys we popped them in the cage and got on with the day. It really does get dull and boring from there in and I won’t be going into details. I mean, washing, laundry, Roomba herding from room to room… the usual Saturday really. I cuddle the bunny (named Benny, but not by us) to ensure him he was still top rodent in our heart and enjoyed a few moments – while hanging out the many loads of washing – watching the chickens be at one with my messy, weed engulfed backyard as they chased down stray bugs and anything that caught their beady little eye.

Well, that’s it! My day in the life of being an Author. Wasn’t it just a thrill a minute? Shhh, let’s just pretend it was all glamorous and famously wonderful and not let on that being an author is rather the same as being anyone else on the planet.  I know it’s probably rather different for the rich and famous authors… but there has to be some bonuses of being an emerging no name and that is to be invisible in public. 😉

Next time in the gripping day in the life of an Author… well, if I really do run out of something decent to write and end up doing this again, I promise it won’t be about more animals. Heck, I garden, iron and bake – why not share the thrill a minute those things provide?

Though I will admit that in a couple of weeks’ time there will be a rather interesting festival here in Adelaide. Body in the garden – with international and local garden and crime writers alike converging to discuss their wares. And, yes, I am very excited to say Ann Cleeves with be there and I am looking forward to meeting her after being a twitter friend with her for some time now. And seriously, who could not want to attend the opening discussion Body in the Garden – Crime or Compost? Love. It.

Until next time,

Janis. XXOO