Tag Archives: Humour

New Year, New me? Pffft, who are we kidding?

New Year, New me? Pffft, who are we kidding?

Hello everyone, disorganised me again here giving you an update and wishing you all a happy new calendar new year… Being the Pagan I am, Yule marks my New Year… January 1st is just when I need to change all the wall calendars to the new ones people have sent me. What can I say? I’m a holiday non-conformist, meh!

So, anyway, I have been thinking over this post for a while and was all ready to turn it into a massive bitchy talk about people going so insane over the “Curse that is 2016”. Seriously, it was turned into a farce in the end and, well, what I had to say on the matter would have just been a spew of negativity. Now, I don’t know if it was my Zoloft kicking in, or a change of heart… But I decided there’s enough negativity and meanness on the Interweb already… It didn’t need me adding to it.

Instead…. As much as I loathe them as I feel they are so fake and insincere (when written by some people) I am going to do a sort of new (calendar) year’s resolution.

Though I do warn you now that it’s not so exciting as I pretty much plan to just keep on being me. Some may say that’s just lazy, but I see it continuing with my perfectly imperfect persona. 😉

I will say, this picture seen on Facebook the other day really does sum up the short version of my new (calendar) year’s resolution. And, I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in these wishes too! 😀


The longer version would be this – I plan to keep being me. Keep writing as an author, reviewer and freelance blogger. Keep up that food porn on Instagram. Get back into making, baking and cooking all my own food. Keep acting up to embarrass my kids – fart jokes and other female bodily functions are doing the trick right now… Just keep being ME.

Like for a lot of people, it was a tough year last year. My step-grandfather passed away, I hurt my back and was left couch bound for months – meaning house, Hordes and hubby suffered. My health has plummeted and I’ve put on 30 kilos in under 12 months and my Doctors are still trying to figure out why. My husband was made redundant, I had to drop out of my studies and all in all we had some downers.

I mean, 450,000 people died in Syria – 50,000 aged 12 and under so I can’t say we had the worst year in the world. But our first world problems still caused our little pocket of reality to tilt on its side and go to shit for a while.

But we had some positives too. Friends got married, others welcomed new life and a new baby into the world. My reviewing site took off a little and I have been receiving a whole stack of free book and kitchen appliances. Big name publishers came to ME to review, rather than the other way around. When I was studying, I was averaging Distinctions to High Distinctions. Heck, my blog post on here outing myself as a depressed housewife on Zoloft got me a lot of (hopefully positive) views and comments. See – look for the positives.

Both my daughters were assessed for Giftedness – both now confirmed. My younger daughter is “twice exceptionally” Gifted, meaning she has a learning disability with it. So, three kids, all on the spectrum to some extent, all needing me to be their centre as they learn to be themselves and accept themselves for what they are as they grow. Middle Horde (Miss 9) has started into the mental aged teens as her older sister did at that age. Eldest Horde is about to turn 12 while holding down the maturity of an 18 year old with a 10 year old’s emotions. Yes, and by the way I hate the label “Gifted” as it makes it sound so positive and wonderful. It’s not… but that is for another blog on another day.

Back to me and my calendar year ahead. Well, as it has been decided for me that I can’t work right now  – as my children need me as their primary carer more – I am focussing myself more on what I feel I do well – write.

I will do my best to get back into weekly blogging for my four blogs (this one included), I have a lot to keep up on with my reviewing – yes I am still small fish, but gaining interest from others so now is the time to work my butt off.

Plus I have three more books in my Other World series to finish as well as several other WIP stories to nail down and get sorted out before see if anyone wants to publish them.

For any publishers reading this (who haven’t fallen asleep yet) they are a cosy crime series set here in the Adelaide Hills, a dystopian YA urban fantasy set in a world where global warming is not only real, but has bitch slapped everyone – it starts in Antarctica, it has penguins and sort of reminds me of Mr Flibble. 😉 And finally, my kids have me writing a series about tweens who go on school excursions and are left behind…. And the adventures they get up to. Firstly I am setting them in places around Adelaide I can go to and research… but if anyone wants me to say, do one for the Smithsonian or something, please feel free to send me tickets and money for accommodation. My kids will need to come too as they are my researchers. 😉

And, on top of all the reviewing, blogging and authoring – I will be continuing in my studies, figuring out what the heck is wrong with my back and my health and doing my best to make my little pocket of reality a lot happier, healthier and prosperous than last year.

I can’t change the world, I can’t help slow the fact 1 person dies of rabies every 9 minutes or that there are over 100,000 homeless here in Australia right now… but I can try and make a difference here in my own home. I can think positive, share that positivity with others, and remind people how awesome they are and how important it is for them to be alive.

I can continue to donate my time, money and no longer needed (but still good) items to charity. I can ensure we continue to eat well, cut down on what goes into landfill and teach my children to love and respect themselves as well as others.

I can’t cure the illnesses of the world; I can’t stop the wars… But I can make a stand as to how we treat the people around us and just pray that kind gesture is as infectious and spreads out to others.

I can’t stop the mass extinctions happening to animals, I can’t fix the Great Barrier Reef nor the over polluting happening in our world. But I can try and buy things second hand – re-use what already exists rather than allow it to go to landfill. I can be water wise and try to avoid plastic packaging. I can continue to buy, shop at and support local… and when that’s not possible, buy from those ethically and environmentally minded.

I can’t sustain the world… But no matter what happens to our income (and the fact we have none right now) we will continue to support those who still have less than we do. I will still think of others and donate what I can. I will still be thankful to have what I have as I am still a rich, blessed and extremely lucky person to have a house, family, food, clean drinking water and free medical aide if needed – all right here when others, even fellow Australian’s, don’t have these things. I will still protest against Australia’s disgusting treatment of refugees.

I may not be able to change to world, but I can seek the positives, make a difference in my little spot and be proud of knowing I have done my best. I can continue with my random acts of kindness, my smiles at strangers (even if they think it means I’m insane) and my desire to turn even the dullest moment into an overly sarcastic giggle for others to read.

THAT is my long new (calendar) year’s resolution.

Just remember, don’t feel small things can’t make a difference. I mean, just look at what one tiny tissue can do to a load of darks in the wash. 😉

Until next time,


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Posted by on January 5, 2017 in Update on my Writer Life


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Foodism – fad or new faith?

Today I felt like blogging but didn’t really want to do a “Look at me, I’m a Writer!” blog until after my book tour is over… as I want to then reflect on my month in the spotlight and all the fun I’ve had with it.

So I’ve decided to do a little blog post on another passion of mine… being a foodie. Now, before I start do I really need to explain what a foodie is, really? As I don’t want to. 😉

The main reason I don’t want to is actually covered in this blog… which you will find is a lot about the meanings and interpretations of words and not just me waffling on about food. Yes, I am a Writer first (hence it having a capital letter while foodie is all lower case) and so even when discussing food, I’m really still talking about how we weave our words together to make sense of the world around us.

Which is what writing is about. Often, we fictional Writers simply weave a world we wish was real, rather than merely describe the one we’re actually in.

In my current series of the Other World I’m often harping on about how words are important. As, you know what? They are, they really are. Because we base our lives and how we live them on how we interpret the words used to teach us how to live. Whether it be the written letter of the law we all must adhere to so as to maintain social cohesion (oh yeah, I did legal studies in High School and that’s about all I remember!) through to what our teachers and parents speak to us on how to be a better person. Those are words and they are important.

And whether we take their literal meaning and interpret them one way or take their figural meaning and understand them another… that is what makes the world go round. So although I’m about to talk to you as a foodie, I’m still doing it as a writer.

Gosh that was a big waffle just to get out of explaining what a foodie is! I really was just trying to lead up to saying I don’t want to explain what one is because there is no definite explanation or answer! Which is also what this tongue in cheek blog post is all about.

But if you must know, my interpretation of a foodie is someone who loves food. Real food. Not instant snip and serve muck… Whole foods, natural foods, the glorious process of knowing where the food comes from, how it’s grown, how it’s cooked and then enjoying the taste. I am very much an old school foodie, so much so I made up an acronym about my food beliefs. Yes, you know how serious a person is when they take the time to make an acronym!

Mine is this: I love S.L.O.W food. Food that follows said Slow food principles. Food that is Local, Old (heirloom varieties) and Whole food. Whole food is your basic raw ingredients for those who need that explained too.

So that’s me and my foodism. Being a foodie I hang out in real life and online with a lot of other foodies and that is what has really brought me to this blog post idea…. And the audacity to create such a radical word as foodism. I’m sure other people have used this term too, I’ve just not seen them so am staking a claim to it for the time being. 🙂

Now I’m finally getting to the point the title of this post is trying to make, hurrah! The following was originally a post I made on Facebook to my friends a couple of years ago and it met with such appreciative response (friends are like that you know) I decided to turn it into a blog post. I was going to wait until I’d gotten my foodie blog up and running, but it’s been two years now and it’s still hidden out the back of WordPress in mothballs so I’m putting it here instead.

As my views have grown and expanded since the original brain dump of thought… so has the post. And here it is…

You know what I’ve come to realise? Food could turn out to be the next religion – no offence to my religious friends, hear me out! I honestly don’t mean any disrespect to religion… I deliberately avoid talking about it online as it can be so easy to offend some about it. But I’m simply looking at this idea from a faith and belief side of things, not belittling anyone’s chosen God (or Goddess) and all they stand for.

Basically, as people have become very passionate about food, nutrition and health in the last few years – their faith in their food principles have become very vocal and almost as passionate as a true religion.

There are multiple faiths as to what is the correct way to be healthy and which foods are better for nutrition – backed up on both sides by qualified Doctors and scientists with results that vary depending on who is funding the research and how it effects their products – and depending on how a result is interpreted, fights break out as to its ‘true meaning’.

Is butter bad or good? Saturated fats, carbohydrates, wheat, nitrates, sugar! Oh the wars that break out on social media about such things!

People have started to follow, with blind faith in some cases, those ‘experts’ who spout positives to their way of looking at food (even when it comes from other countries whose health and food standards are a lot slacker than the ones in their own country). So if their food idols say this is how it should be based on that country – it must be true! Blanket statements are what I’m trying to say. I really really hate blanket statements. Such as: “Carrots grown in such and such country are done so in open sewerage next to petrol stations that still use petrol that contains lead. So therefore all carrots are bad as they contain high doses of lead and harmful bacteria absorbed from the sewerage… even the ones grown in your own yard!”

(I made that blanket statement up by the way… I do that, I’m a Writer. I was just trying to make a point. Eat your carrots, they’re good for you. Unless you’re in one of those Foodism faiths that don’t allow carrots… then don’t eat your carrots. 😉 )

With these blanket statements from their food prophets and idols, friends become enemies when one feels the paleo is the right faith, where others still think Atkins calorie counting must be adhered to.

Can Low Carb, High Fat people still be friends with someone who enjoys rice with their chicken curry?

Will a locavore have their membership details blacklisted if they dare include chocolate in their diet that comes from outside their ten mile radius?

Let’s not get into the fractured sub faiths within these faiths too. Can a paleo person have dairy, potatoes and peas? Or are they just paleo wannabes and only those who grow, hunt and forage for their own food be the one true followers of the faith?

Oh no, won’t someone think of the Vegans!

Or the children, won’t someone think of them too! As MAN! catering for a birthday party amidst this all is a torment. Nut free, grain free, gluten free, dairy free, refined sugar free… I’m so glad I make a mean fruit platter!

It’s quite a funny analogy to make isn’t it? Food and the new religion – Foodism. I do hope you realise the high level of humour I’m using as I write this as I’m trying to make light of a crazy situation and mean no disrespect to any of the multiple Foodism faiths… or real religions for that matter.

Me, like with religion, feel it’s absolutely brilliant that I live in a country that gives me the freedom to follow what I wish and that personal beliefs are just that – personal. And I also love seeing all the different opinions and options out there and then making up my own mind…. like religion.

Though I am now starting to wonder if being into S.L.O.W foods, a balanced diet of all things in moderation, while being as refined sugar free as possible means I’m still allowed to be a Pagan? As I’ve now seen the Light, kicked my sugar addiction and no longer crave chocolate as much as I used to, must I give back the Pagan Chocolate Goddess – May the Fudge Be With You sticker I carry in my purse? I mean, it’s there to remind me I’m not only a card carrying Pagan, but a chocoholic too!

Oh heavens, what about the salted caramel hot chocolates I had recently? What penance must I now do to make up for it?

Okay, I’m done being silly. More about writing when I post again, honest. 😉

Until next time,

Janis. XXOO


Told you I made a mean fruit platter. 😉


Posted by on September 26, 2014 in Writing


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