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The distractions of a Writer.

15 Mar

Recently I’ve put my foot down as to whether I’m a Writer or a Haus Frau who occasionally writes and made myself spend more time writing… as I want to be a Writer more than a drudge.

And, as our house is currently in a state of flux as we re-arrange how it all goes, the only place I have to sit and write right now is… cross legged on my bed. Which is what I’m doing right now! But relax, that’s not what this blog post is about.

A metre or so from where I’m sitting cross legged and writing is a bedroom window that looks out over the front yard. I can’t say ‘front lawn’ as that area too is in a state of flux as we dig up the lawn and replace it with shrubs and bushes that are far more ‘obscenely extreme’ weather resistant and not so water reliant. Yes, I live in the Adelaide Hills where we yo yo from plus forty degrees Celsius to minus four. Thankfully not on the same day… but it can make growing things a little hard.

So anyway, I sit and write and try not to procrastinate by just staring out the window. But there have been distractions out there of late and I’ve decided to use this week’s blog to not waffle on about being a writer, but of something more amusing. Call it a blog about procrastinating if you will. The distractions are… magpies.

Now I really don’t know how many of my blog readers are Australian and therefore know I mean Australian magpies – a bird­ not a football team. For those who don’t, I’d suggest going to check them out on youtube where you’ll find many a wonderful film clip of the Australian magpie ‘argle gargling’ away at you. That’s the sound they make by the way, not something they actually do at you like a flasher or something.

Me, I love magpies. I grew up in the Northern Territory of Australia and we don’t have magpies up there. I don’t know if it’s due to climate, resources, that cyclone Tracy blew them all away and they never came back (a theory of a friend of mine when we were kids, that cyclone got blamed for a lot of things). Still, no magpies growing up meant they were one of those unique specialities one only ever got when visiting family ‘down south’ in either Queensland or here in South Australia. They were new, foreign, alien to a tropical child like me. Just like temperatures less than twenty five degrees Celsius or water coming out of the cold water tap actually being cold and not warm to body temperature. And that love of these birds has stayed with me even after I spent eight years living with them in Brisbane (Queensland) or another eight here in the Adelaide Hills.

This love of the good old black and white maggie could be why I have been distracted by them, but I’m a bit of a bird lover in general and most birds tend to distract me. And not just when a falcon swooped down outside my window, pinned a sparrow to the dirt and then took off with it.Truth be known I’m actually a bird whisperer. As in, birds seem to like me as much as I like them. Parrots especially come to me (wild or otherwise) and if I’m ever alone in my garden I’m soon surrounded by sparrows, magpies, parrots and the chickens. Think of it as a bit of a Snow White moment… except the slack buggers don’t bother to help me out with the chores. And so, birds interest me and I will often stop and just watch them.

However! The magpies that have been distracting me over the last few weeks are doing so not by simply being birds, but by their near human like antics. They’re a family of four, two adults of black and white and two juveniles who are more black and grey. It’s the ‘kids’ that have been making me laugh the most.

It started when we had to dig out our septic tank. See, living rural as we do we’re not connected to a sewerage system. Instead we have a septic tank that our council comes and pumps out every four years. All we need to do, once they tell us they’re coming to do it, is uncover it from under a few feet of dirt and wait. The septic tanks in our street are located in our front yards for easy access for the council to get to. Sadly, this meant the day they did pump it out meant I couldn’t work in my room…  where I write being located only a few metres away from the tank… Ew. But back to the juvenile magpies! Once the tank had been uncovered it meant there was a pile of dirt (as well as the hole) in our yard… right in front of my window. One morning I’m sitting there typing away when I hear this funny noise. Juvenile magpies make funny noises as it is, almost as if they’re chatting in argle gargle. But this sounded more like giggling in argle gargle. I look out my window and see one of the juvenile maggies roll down the dirt pile. I snicker at its clumsy mistake and keep writing… only to see it do it again. Now my full attention is on the dirt pile as, taking turns like all good children do, they are climbing to the top of the dirt pile and deliberately rolling to the bottom. And all the time they are making these giggling like sounds. I laugh at the bird’s fun and enjoyment and one of them spots me through the netted curtain. They stop, look guilty and scurry away. Oops!

A few days later, the magpie kids are back, making similar noises and when I look out this time they are having a dirt fight on the pile. I kid you not. They’re picking up little clumps of dirt in their beaks and throwing them at each other, trying to dodge out of the way and giggling. These are birds here remember. I may be a tad eccentric but I am seriously not making this up. After watching them for a few minutes I once again, stupidly, laughed. They saw me, scurried off. And throughout the rest of the day this little grey and black head kept popping up and checking to see whether I was sitting on the bed or not. So cute, even if laughing at its appearance caused a squawk and for the bird to toddle off again.

The other day I came home from the shopping and couldn’t help but laugh as it appeared we had a magpie sports day happening in the front yard. By now the septic tank had been pumped and reburied and so the yard is a vaguely flat area again. And there, on one side right up against the edge of the garden stood two adult magpies looking rather bored. While in the middle of the ‘lawn’ two juvenile magpies chased each other while obviously playing ‘keepy off’ with a plant label. As in, one of the young birds would take this label (ripped off one of my newly purchased plants I may add) and kept ducking and diving and throwing the label away from the other young bird and then scurrying to get it before its opponent could. As I’ve just started being a soccer mum to my eldest child, it all looked just so familiar to me. They, thankfully, couldn’t hear me laughing from in the car but all four birds looked rather affronted when I had to get out to put the groceries away as I had chilled items I needed to keep chilled. They stalked off as if I was interrupting play. Oh dear.

Does anyone else have magpies that do this? Or other birds that distract them from their writing in such ways? I’m so amused by their antics I’m thinking of starting a joke blog for them. Something like ‘the day in the life of family Magpie’ or ‘diaries of a magpie’ in the similar vein to that of Jackie French and her wombats. Hmmm, there’s a thought, no wombats here. That’s a shame. Echidna, emus, kangaroos and the usual feral animals… but no wombats. If we had one of those would be need to dig up the septic tank every four years? Can a wombat be trained I wonder?

So the next time you go to write and get distracted from it, I guess it shows you’re a Writer if what you’re distracted by makes you want to write some more. I’m half tempted to put an old cat toy out in the front yard to see what those kids get up to next.

Until next time,

Janis. XXOO

 
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Posted by on March 15, 2014 in Writing

 

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Twitter etiquette – how to use this social media tool rather than become one yourself.

07 Mar

Now before I even explain this blog post to people I feel a great need to remind my readers I’m an overly sarcastic cow and pretty much everything I say should be taken tongue in cheek. Yes, those who know me well even pause to dissect me greeting them with ‘hi, how are you?’ before responding. I’m indeed that bad.

Okay, so now we have the friendly warning out of the road, anyone who doesn’t get sarcasm who is continuing to read this does so at their own risk. I mean, not all of this post is sarcastic, far from it… but there are just going to be moments that some may read wrong without this initial warning.

What is this week’s post about? Well, if the title isn’t self-explanatory enough, it’s about Twitter and the dos and don’ts of how to interact on it. All these topics of etiquette come from my point of view and so may not be the globally recognised approach to Twittering… but hey. My blog, my rules. 😉

Think of it as a check list if you follow me on Twitter and wonder why I don’t follow you back. As, to me, Twitter is the part of the internet where strangers can still meet instantly and either become friends or not. Bad Twitter etiquette is like having bad breath… yes, you may be a victim of social media halitosis so let’s see if we can find you a cure… or at least a really strong breath mint.

We’ll start with the basics – your profile pic and blurb. I don’t talk to eggs and animated pics give me a headache. I’m not saying you need to display a picture of yourself in your profile. I know many (myself included) wished I would change my ugly mug to something nicer. However, if you go with the Twitter default egg or something that shimmers and moves and irritates – bad move. Then again I feel the same about overly pornographic, idiotic or even ‘fish face’ shots. Be yourself, well, as much of yourself as you can be without people seeing too much of you and then wishing it wasn’t wiggling at them every time you post.

As for the profile blurb, it’s good to start with at least having one. I don’t know why, but I have no interest in following someone who has nothing in their blurb. I liked to know people a little before adding their babble to my Twit stream. The blurb should also not be entirely made up of hashtags and web addresses. Some are okay, everything tagged and bagged? No. You don’t have to include your life story in the limited amount of characters provided… but something of use helps people get to know you better so they can decide whether you’re worth a follow. And, sadly, Twitter seems to be all about the followers. Me, I’m more into quality of followers over quantity and so may be biased when it comes to who I follow.

Don’t be something/ someone you’re not on Twitter. It’s okay to have a joke account or fan club on there… but don’t pretend to be someone else. Those poor celebrities types have a hard enough time being famous and being online without people adding to their woes and pretending to be them. And, to be honest, those I’ve seen pretending to be someone they’re not fail miserably and tend to come across as a douche. If you’re too afraid to be yourself, don’t use Twitter. I will, however, emphasise that joke accounts are acceptable. There are some awesome ones out there and I love their posts. I’m looking at you @ThatBucketWoman, @MrsStephenFry and @BridgetandJoan.

Some see Twitter as just free advertising space and will simply tweet about their book, product, service, business, etc. As I’m writing this the Monty Python song ‘Spam’ has started in my head. What can I say, but yes, you need to shake your assets when and where you can and it is indeed a free service to allow you to do this. I occasionally show off my book and ask people to buy it on Twitter. Note: occasionally. There are a lot of people who use Twitter to socially interact with others, not go shopping for a new house, toy, book, insurer and so on. I know this may come as a surprise to some, but using your Twitter account to just constantly tweet at people to buy whatever it is you’re selling is annoying and a good way to find yourself blocked and reported for being spam.

There are some exceptions to this rule. I mean, there are certain Twitter accounts where you expect this sort of behaviour as they are the Twitter account of an internationally recognised product. Whether it is a soft drink, chocolate, car, phone, whatever. Still, I find them annoying (especially when their tweets appear in my Twit stream as they paid to have them promoted) and so I do indeed block them too. I just don’t report the official sites as spam. Call me Ms Manners.

Other times this behaviour is accepted is when it is a book or film reviewer, a publishing house or set up specifically for a TV/ radio show or play. Most of these accounts plainly state what it is they are in their profile and so if you follow them you really should expect them to tweet about books, films and what not and not much else. I know common sense is a dying art but come on people, give it a go!

When to block and when to block and report as spam? Basically, if it’s an account I don’t want to see but will as they’ve paid Twitter to promote them – meaning shove their tweets into everyone’s Twit stream – I simply block them. As much as I feel that are spamming me, they’re technically not. So I just block them in the vain hope they won’t darken my door again.

Accounts that have next to no followers and a dicey looking profile blurb and pic that just seem to tweet ‘hey check this out’ and add a web address… These are spammers and trolls and should indeed be blocked and reported as spam. And I strongly advise everyone to do so. Don’t just ignore them and expect them to go away. The good team at Twitter need to be alerted to such idiots and can only know they’re there if enough people report them. Come on, now you’ve tried common sense let’s throw a bit of proactive behaviour in for good measure!

Oh, and never ever click on their web addresses. If they are indeed websites, they’re not worth visiting. But what is more likely going to happen it’s some nasty little malware link that allows them to hack your Twitter account and then use you to send the same spammy messages to others. And it’s just plain nasty when they do this to your followers via direct messages. If you’re not careful it will be your account that is blocked and reported as spam.

Just because someone has followed you on Twitter, it doesn’t mean you need to follow them back. I mean, some Twitter protocols dictate that the follow back is the done thing… quite frankly not for me. As mentioned, I use Twitter to interact with people and make friends… not get myself a many followers as possible. Strangely rare, I know. So if I don’t like the look of the account of a new follower, I won’t follow them. The majority of the reasons why I won’t follow them are listed in this blog.

Simple rule of thumb when wanting to follow someone (or follow back as the case may be) is this: Do they look interesting in their pic and blurb? Who follows them, anyone you know? What do they tweet? Do they actually interact with others on Twitter, or do they simply tweet ads, spam, quotes from others, etc. Does that interest you enough to want to follow them? What I’m trying to say is do they look like someone you want to receive tweets from… if yes, follow them. I’m not you’re mother and can’t stop you. 😉

The other side to the whole ‘follow back’ protocol is don’t expect people to follow you back simply because you followed them. If you’ve followed them as they’re a celebrity you like… seriously it rarely happens that they’re going to follow you back. Their Twit stream is crowded as it is. If they’re someone you find interesting and enjoy reading the tweets of… do they need to follow you back? Or is what you’re getting enough? If you want them to follow you back as you feel they’d enjoy what you have to say just as much… tweet them. It’s not hard to just comment or say hello. Sometimes they still won’t follow you back – fine. Your choice as to whether you keep following or unfollow. Just don’t have a dummy spit and send them an abusive tweet because they won’t follow you. You’ll look like a five year old.

One of the most important DON’TS of Twitter is don’t send people a direct message as soon as they follow you back asking them to buy, try, visit, join or follow anything. That will cause an immediate unfollow by me and many I know. That is a form of spam and is unforgivably rude. Especially for those who have it set up to happen automatically. Direct messages are private conversations between people who follow each other on Twitter. If you’re going to abuse it like that, you may find yourself reported as spam.

I don’t mind using direct messages and do use them a lot – with people I know and want to pass on a private piece of information too. Not to tell someone to buy my books, like my Facebook pages or go visit a website that will just blow their minds. Then again, I’m not a rude and callous idiot.

Can you tell I really dislike the misuse of direct messages?

Retweeting and favoriting something someone has tweeted. Rule of thumb on this one is if you like something someone has tweeted – favourite it. If you want to share it with your followers as you enjoyed it so much, retweet it. Quite honestly, if people didn’t want you to favourite or retweet their stuff… they shouldn’t go putting it on Twitter. Or, if they want it on Twitter they should secure their account so only their followers see it. Seriously… think before you tweet as strangers are out there reading it. My downside is it seems that only times I make a typo or grammatical error are the ones people retweet. I make it through whole days where I don’t stuff up the English language in my tweets… but if I’m going to make a boo boo, you can guarantee that will be the one that is shared. Sad, but true.

Now, there are some strong etiquette rules when it comes to when people retweet your tweets too. If they are sharing something you’ve said just as they liked it… you don’t need to thank them. But if they’re retweeting something you’re sharing like a traffic incident you want to give people a heads up on, or if you’re a writer and a review of your book is being retweeted – thank the retweeter. It’s manners and it’s good to show you appreciate them doing it.

Hashtags… man this one’s a doozy. Hashtags get their name from the fact you always start them with the hash (#) symbol. And then run the words on from there – #thisisahashtag. It looks better on Twitter, honest. You can pretty much hashtag anything you damned well like. I often just make them up as the fact that it is a hashtag is what makes it funny or important looking and it gets your followers attention. However! If you want to use hashtags ‘correctly’ there are some basic rules. The best way to explain these rules is to explain what a hashtag is. They are a form of metadata… don’t look cross eyed as I’ll explain them too.

So, metadata are kind of like bookmarks on the internet. You use them to ‘tag’ images, documents, a tweet as a way for people to search for it for later on. Meaning if someone wants to search on a specific subject, if it is tagged it is easier to find. Made sense, right?

On Twitter the hashtag is the most common form of metadata and it allows complete strangers to come together and talk (or at least feel like) they are talking together and sharing information with each other. Hashtags are most commonly used when discussing movies or TV shows, world events or even celebrities. Most common one I see from my UK friends on a Sunday is #TheArchers as they are all apparently glued to the radio.

I personally use them mostly when talking about local issues. I tag that I’m talking to people interested in #Adelaide and the #AdelHills (Adelaide Hills) and have indeed used these tags for weather and traffic warnings. It helps get information out to those interested in the same subjects. And using the right hashtags is a good way to get yourself retweeted – see my mention of typos.

Other common hashtags to those of a Writer’s bent are #AmWriting, #AmEditing, #AmBlogging, #AmProofing and the all-important #AMProcrastinating. I use these ones a lot.

Why use hashtags? Well, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. In the same way as you don’t have to use Twitter. They are just there to help you connect to people who may share similar interests. This, to me, is the greatest use of Twitter. I’ve ‘met’ some very interesting and like-minded people on it. I’ve caught up with real life friends and made new ones.

The biggest thing to remember with Twitter is the same for any sort of social interaction – it’s okay to have an opinion, but remember that it’s okay that others are allowed to have their own opinion too. And slagging off is just wrong. Oh, I whinge and bitch and complain about things that are frustrating and annoying me, but never at a particular person. You have a beef with someone, take it out with them privately or just walk away and let it go. Don’t make it a public scene.

As said at the beginning, this is just my opinion on some of the rules and etiquettes of Twitter. You may not agree with them all, you may feel I’ve gotten some of them wrong or missed some entirely. This blog post comes with a comments section if you feel so strongly about it too.

And yes, that is my very small view on Twitter after all and simply how I use it. I hope they were of some use and that I see you on there soon. 😉

Until next time,

Janis. XXOO

 
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Posted by on March 7, 2014 in Writing

 

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Should I be a thin skinned Writer or a thick skinned Author?

26 Feb

In this post I want to touch on how I approach the wide world out there now I’ve been published.

Basically do I let all the snubs and rejections and cold shoulders get to me and be a thin skinned Writer… or put my big girl’s pants on, toughen up and just keep going and shaking my assets and trying to get my work some attention no matter what people say, as a thick skinned Author?

It’s one of the most common problems placed in anyone’s life. Do I take all the hardships and criticisms personally and crumble and sit there feeling sorry for myself and go nowhere in life? Or accept these negatives as well as positives and keep going? It’s not just something a Writer/Author faces, we all have moments like this in our lives and how we handle them decides not how the world then looks at us, but how we then look at what else the world has to throw at us.

Recently I’ve not only received a lot of new rejections to things from story submissions to Writing Societies feeling I fail to meet the grade as to what they’re looking for. I’ve also discovered (by Googling it) that my book Bonnie’s Story is being used by spammy  Malware sites to try and trick people into downloading whatever evil crap it is they are trying to push on people. So, do I fall to pieces as no one wants me and people are abusing my name and work by using it to spread malice?

I sort of wanted to at first as it was just so frustrating to not be acknowledged for being good at anything… except to use my work to spam people. And then I thought about it and went, hang on, I’m better than that. I chose to be an Author, to be out there in the public eye with my work. I need to toughen up, take this all head on and do something about it!

I couldn’t do much about the rejections, or the fact that these people couldn’t even be bothered informing me I was rejected, simply went with the ‘no reply means rejection’ approach. Now, I can understand this from a Literary Agent or Publisher as time is money to them and they will therefore not waste their precious time bothering with rejections… but when this approach comes from people who have been in my situation and who always prose on about how they can relate to the struggling emerging Author and all that. It may just be my near twenty years in Customer Service and therefore high standards for customer service… but if I was them, I would take the time to at least send a form letter advising of said rejection. Don’t say you sympathise if you’re then going to act just like the people you yourself have just posted a massive whinge on. I may be a nobody Writer, but I always take the time to reply to any questions, comments or emails sent to me. It is manners people!

Oops, that rant came from nowhere! 😉 Anyhow, what I was trying to say was I couldn’t do anything about the rejections… except obviously have a rant… but I could do something about the spam. I reported them to Google, to the website hosts, to whoever I could. Most of them are now gone and dealt with. So what I say to Writers/ Authors in the same position is don’t just sit and have a cry about it… do something. Our lives are what we make of them so do your best to make it better.

Similar to this is last week I had a heck of a lot of web traffic to my blog from people in the USA via Facebook. All traffic was to my Media and Reviews page and I had no idea why as it’s not directly linked to any of my Facebook pages. Being the cynical and mildly paranoid cow I can sometimes be I started to wonder what it was all about. Had someone shared the link to this page and people were going to check it out to be amazed? Or, more likely, have a laugh at my expense? Thin skinned Writer me thought the most negative from it and allowed it to get to me. I mean, surely these people could have the guts to at least say to my face what was so fascinating about that page… it even has the ability to leave a comment, but did they? No twenty something folks in the USA visited, not one of them said a damned thing to me.

Thick skinned Author me then stepped in and thought, hang on: This is my public image they’re looking at, my professional persona as an Author. Is there something there that deserves any ridicule I may be getting? I looked at the page in question, realised it was quite out of date and rather shabby and so I updated it and made it more professional. Weeded out what I felt were all the crappy bits. Coincidence or not, the traffic stopped. Either it was all in my head or I had removed what everyone felt was so funny to go read on and then laugh about behind my back. Heck, I took something that may have been a negative (may have just been in my head) and turned it into a positive. Took my whingey, paranoid, thin skinned Writer self, told it to toughen up and made it all better.

When I get a review, good or bad, I take from it what I can. Most of the reviews I’ve received have been good ones, I take from it that people liked my book. Yay! And yes I’ve had some bad reviews too, so what? Have you seen some of the bad reviews top sellers have gotten simply because the reader didn’t get the book? Sometimes I’ve wondered if the reviewer actually read the entire book and didn’t just base their review on the free sample… but hey! Everyone is entitled to an opinion and I thank them for having had the time and decency to actually leave a review. See, thick skinned Author. 😉

So, how do you handle the big wide world out there as it runs over your work, your public image and your blog with a fine tooth comb? Do you take every rejections, snub and criticism with an emotional breakdown and swear to never write again!? Or do you go ‘fair enough’ and do your best to make it better?

Me, I’m a no one, my work and talents are rejected and snubbed all the time. I fail to make shortlists in competitions, I’m not deemed interesting enough to appear at emerging writer festivals and talks and my last quarter sales consisted of four copies – two of which were bought by family members.

What am I doing about it? I’m looking at new competitions, I’m trying to get myself out there more to get more experience under my belt from the festivals that rejected me, I keep writing no matter what and, you know what? One of my whopping four sales was made by either a school or library in New Zealand via Wheelers. So what if I’m a no one, I’m a no one who is out there as an Author (no matter how small scale it is) and needs to keep at it if I want the world to notice me. I am, and always will be, a Writer and nothing will ever stop me writing. Who cares if no one else reads my work, writing it is such fun all the same.

Being in the public eye, no matter how small you are, is a harsh place to be. It is up to you to choose whether you face it as a thin skinned Writer or hold your head up high, square your shoulders and mutter ‘bring it on!’ like a thick skinned Author.

Until next time,

Janis XXOO.

 
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Posted by on February 26, 2014 in Writing

 

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Why the world needs to stop looking down its nose at eBook Authors.

14 Feb

Yes this sounds like I’m about to launch into one of my froth at the mouth rants usually saved up to annoy friends and family on Facebook, but it’s not.

I will admit that the attitude towards eBook Authors is a pet peeve of mine as it’s usually as derogatory and demeaning as those ‘well-meaning souls’ who ask a House Wife/ Hubby why they can’t go out and get a real job. As I am also a self-committed Haus Frau, perhaps there is a biased to both these opinions… but I’m not here to turn them into chips on my shoulders or, as said, rant… merely try and point out that eBook Authors are real authors too. We won’t go into House Wife’s as all I can say to those dear souls is the next time you’re accused of just sitting around on your bum all day and not actually doing any work – do it. Trust me, the results are fun. 😉

So, yes, eBook Authors… are you sick of people not taking you seriously as an eBook isn’t a real book and any man and his dog can get published? Well, I know I am! No, I don’t need my little soap box to stand on for this, honest. I just wanted to start by saying it does still take a lot to be published, no matter how you do it, and it doesn’t just end with writing a story.

Okay, so yes there are a lot of eBooks out there flooding the market, but they’re not all of the same quality… or lack thereof. To start with, there are the big names in publishing houses cottoning on to the new technology of eBooks and converting works of their contracted  – big names I may add – Authors to eBooks. Quite a few of my favourite Authors have been converted to eBooks after being worldwide sensations in paper form.

Then there are Authors who have made a name for themselves in paper book that are now out of publication contract and so have the rights to their work again. What do they do? Self-publish to cut out the middle man and keep all the royalties themselves. Some of these Authors have massive fan followings that have happily moved over to reading their work as eBooks and good on them. But I think that is where the fear and negativity is setting in throughout the publishing world… as if an Author doesn’t need a publisher or a literary agent and*gasp* keeps all the sales money for themselves… Oh the horror! And up springs the nasty remarks about self-publishing and eBooks are for those who aren’t ‘real’ Authors. If publishers can’t make money out of the situation… it can’t be good and honest work. Right? Please note, this is a theory.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, there is some absolute drivel out there thanks to how easy it is to self-publish and I won’t deny it. Yes, but have you seen some of the drivel you get in paper books too? I’m not just looking at the Vanity Press stuff either… Though they did get a long, hard look to start with. 😉

Self-publishing does indeed have the down side that every man and his dog – and from some evidence the dog was the editor (that’s how bad it is) – can now be an Author. And because of the profusion of work now out there – good, bad and downright ug-lee – we all get tarred with the same brush. ‘Oh you’re an Author!’ says a stranger and their eyes light up… Only to go dull and uninterested when you go on to say your work is in eBook format. Please, have you even bothered to read an eBook by anyone before you make this judgement? Or is it okay to just make it on something you don’t know or haven’t tried because that’s what ‘real book’ types do? Seriously, weren’t you taught as kids to at least try something before making a judgement? Oops, starting to rant, will do my best to pull up before I nose dive.

Okay, so I will freely admit here and now that I’m not saying my work is award winningly brilliant and that the stigma of it being an eBook is why it’s not a world famous title… no, my books are good but I am an emerging Writer who has a lot of exposure and experience still to gather. I may get acclaim one day… I may just continue on as I am making enough for my chocolatier hits. But the fact that the writing societies that I now belong to still look down their noses at eBook Authors, I’m embarrassed… and not for myself, but for them.

So what if I’m an eBook Author? For my second book I was offered the opportunity to be published in paper… and I chose a publishing contract with my current eBook publisher over this other deal. Why? Well, I like my current publisher and have faith in their ability to help me achieve my dream of Brownie money from my royalties. 🙂

In this day and age how is a publisher of eBooks any different than that of a paper book publisher? Well, for one thing the royalties given to the Author are higher for an eBook. For another, the publisher’s running costs are lower and therefore their eBooks are more affordable to the general public. It still costs to get something published, even an eBook. For me there is the artist for the cover design, the proof reader and editor to go over my work and hopefully remove the majority of the stuff ups and typos through to the advertising and ‘asset shaking’ once it’s published. And I admit I’ve not paid a cent… as it’s all covered in my publishing contract. Just because I am a published eBook Author, this does not mean my publisher a modern day vanity press or a self-publishing sight that accepts anything that comes with a cheque attached. My publisher is a real publisher who certainly doesn’t accept any old thing but does happen to focus on eBooks. And, surprise! My books are real books too. They still get registered with an ISBN and deemed a ‘published work’ by the literary world (whether they look down their nose or not). The only difference with my work is it just isn’t printed out on paper. And in the paperless society we’re trying to become, isn’t that a good thing?

Let’s all remember that just because someone has written a book that can only be found in eformat doesn’t mean it’s not a real book, it’s not a good story and that they are not a good Writer… Or even deserve their own ‘I’m an Author’ badge – homemade or otherwise. The world’s attitude needs to change as we eBook Authors are here to stay and looking down your nose at us just makes you look kind of funny. 😉

Until next time,

Janis. XXOO

 
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Posted by on February 14, 2014 in Writing

 

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How did I become published? Really? You really want to know?

31 Jan

Now, I know for a fact that this is a subject I researched a lot when trying to become an Author. I read blogs, FAQ, publishing sites and googled my little fingers off trying to glean just that little bit of extra magical info out as to how to make it happen.

And since becoming an Author I’ve had people asking me to pass on the sage advice I obviously found in my research. Unfortunately all this does is cause a hunted look to appear on my face and for me to think (occasionally, possibly even say aloud): “Oh God! They’re actually asking me as if I know! What do I say? If I say the wrong thing it’ll all be my fault!” and similar panicked thoughts along that line.

Yes I am a published Author, but no I don’t know if I have any good advice to give you. But I will give it a go and allow you to make of it what you will… as long as what you make of it isn’t to steal it as your own work and put it up elsewhere. Yes, I’ve had it happen. Aint being an online Writer grand?

The basic advice I would give is research the subject for yourself (heaven help you if reading my blog is part of your research 😉 ) and never be afraid to ask questions. I will also add that if you really want to become an author, don’t take the rejections personally and just keep trying. Then again I’m a terrible example as, despite being ignored by all the major publishing houses and all literary agents I approached, I got offered my first publishing contract within four months of starting to pitch my first book. And I got my second offer within four days of pitching my second book. Seasoned, clever and well known authors I sometimes chat with tell me this is a sign I’m a good Writer. I, personally, see it as a sign of being very bloody lucky! 😉

I fear I am maybe glossing over this all a bit too much, I tend to when I really don’t feel I should be seen as an expert. So will try and break it down to the following:

 

  • Look at your work
  • Consider your audience
  • Research – other people’s work, publisher’s and/or literary agents, the lot
  • Use common sense
  • Never be afraid to ask or try
  • Realise only the very lucky make it big with their first book

What do I mean? Here’s the waffle version of these points:

Look at your work

Now I don’t mean painstakingly read and edit it every single time you work on it. I honestly feel if you do that you’ll never get it finished and the most important thing to know, when seeking to be published, is to approach publishers with a finished manuscript! This isn’t a ‘shoulda, woulda, coulda’ moment. This is a ‘look at me, here is my complete work, love me’ moment. Keep the overall formatting simple (most places seem to like double spaced Times New Roman in twelve point font size – but do check their preference first). Don’t go for super duper fonts hardly anyone has heard of, intricately curved chapter headings or over the top page layouts. From my time as a technical document writer I can tell you that it doesn’t matter if it is a one hundred thousand word masterpiece or a one page instruction on how to change a password – keep the formatting simple! And finish your work before running over the words with a fine tooth comb.

That’s right, once the manuscript is finished, that is the moment you take to edit and proof it. Check for spelling and grammar mistakes as well as consistency and flow. If you’re using something like Word all those red, green and blue squiggly lines under your work can be annoying, but they have a function too. I will always investigate why Word seems to feel the need to add squiggles. Sometimes they are incorrect as it just isn’t used to you using it to write a story… but I’ve found eighty percent of the squiggles were saving me from looking an idiot. Oh for that last twenty percent! *sigh*

If you can, find a friend who is an avid reader and ask them to critique your work. This catches a lot of issues the squiggles didn’t. And please don’t be a diva to their feedback. Constructive criticism is your friend and there to help you become a better Writer.

Consider your audience

When you go to pitch your work, you really need to consider who it actually is you’re writing for. Is it a Young Adult audience? If so, are you sure the work is at a level suitable for them? Do you really know what Young Adult is or do you just have a vague idea? If you pitch your work but aim it at the wrong audience, you will fail as the publishers do actually know what that audience is and what they would like. Just like with feedback from your friend, don’t let your ego get in the road here.

Research – other people’s work, publishers and/or literary agents, the lot

This is a little like considering your audience. You really need to set out at being an author with your eyes open and research what it is to become one. Look out for the pit traps such as ‘vanity press’ sites. These are places that pretend to be a publishing house and will eagerly look at your work, accept it and then list the thousands of dollars you must pay them to make it happen. I believe vanity press sites are slowly fading out as self-publishing grows… but sadly some are just changing their spots to now appear to be a friendly eager group happy to help you self-publish… and then list the thousands of dollars this will cost you.

So, thinking along the ‘buyer beware’ line of things – Writer’s beware! If it looks too good to be true, as with pretty much everything on the internet – it is!

Other things to research are other already published Writers. See how they write, how they lay out the story, how it is formatted and so on. No, not saying attempt to write just like them, hell no! Be yourself at all times is my biggest motto. But do look at how it is done in published books to ensure your writing style is true to the saleable format. Because when it all comes down to it, becoming an author means becoming a seller of your wares. The best part about this line of research is all you really need to do is read. How good is that? And, yes, if you don’t already know this… the best way to be a good Writer is to be an avid Reader.

Why do you need to research all this? So you know how to sell yourself and your work… which is what being an Author is all about. You don’t want to sell, stick to being a Writer. Want to be an Author? Time to sell, sell sell! And to do this you need to know what publishers are looking for, what types of things they publish, how they want your work submitted to them, and so on. Some publishers only accept pitches on certain days of the week or month, you need to know when this is to ensure your pitch is at least seen and not rejected as you obviously didn’t research their prerequisites.

The thing to remember is that publishers, like literary agents, have to be very strict with what they ask for. This is because there are millions of us Writers out there, we outnumber the publishers – just like we do the literary agents – and they are there to make money… not help us achieve our dreams. Sometimes they do help us, but that’s only when we’ve learnt to sell ourselves juuuust right and they can make money from us too.

Use common sense

Yes I know the saying common sense is not so common anymore, but do your best. Using common sense is basically required to sift through all the information you’ve gathered via the other points I’ve made. Research it all, look over it all and use common sense as to what you will then do with this information. I mean, if you’re like me, you will have read a lot of conflicting information… Sort through it and take from it what best suits your needs. Remember – there are millions of people out there trying to get published and seeking advice on how to make it happen. Therefore, in typical human nature, there are nearly just as many out there who will try and make money from those wanting to get published.  Common sense is, if you have to pay for advice… is it really worth it? I wouldn’t pay to learn how to write or get published unless I was interested in one of those university degrees, or what not, in creative writing… I’m not, I am self-taught instead. And I’ve gotten a lot of good free advice from Writers and Authors alike, so just think before you do anything. Find what fits you as you’re the person who knows you best of all.

Never be afraid to ask or try

I know a lot of people don’t like my cynical attitude when I say ‘How will I know I’ve failed if I don’t at least try’ but it’s the truth. If you don’t try, and aren’t prepared for the possible rejection, you will never know and never learn how to do it better the next time. They’re not wrong when they say we learn from our mistakes.

This goes for competitions, pitches to publishers, enquiries to literary agents – try your best, and don’t take their rejection as the end of it all.

A perfect example of this is when I first started pitching my first book. After all my studious research I decided to pitch to a literary agent before I went to the publishers. First person I sent an enquiry to replied to me within a day. Asked for a bio, synopsis and sample of my work.

Now, I thought I had studied it all and you know what? I had no clue as to what a synopsis should look like. How green was I? In a mad panic I googled and got conflicting answers. As I had to get this information back to the literary agent ASAP I turned to twitter for help. And a twitter friend (who I had just discovered was also a Writer) Ann Cleeves stepped up to the plate and coached me through it all. With her prompting I gathered more information from the agent as to the length and detail of the synopsis. Ann also talked me through the dos and don’ts of synopsis and away I went…

I was rejected at the second hurdle by the literary agent as, despite my skill at writing, my work was not in a tone that they felt they wanted to represent. Their words, not mine.

So yes I was disappointed as I had such a quick flurry of interest… only to be turned down as quickly as I was picked up. This has happened to me several times now by publishers, newspapers, Writing groups, the lot. To me, it’s all part of the dance. And I have learnt so much from these experiences simply because I wasn’t afraid to ask or try.

Heck, another example is with my second book. From what I had learnt pitching my first, I sought out independent publishers more than the major publishers and what an ego boost it was to not only get two offers, but one within four days of starting my pitch. If you don’t know, you’re lucky if you even get a rejection within a month of pitching, let alone being accepted so quickly. I tried; I succeeded and actually didn’t go with that publisher after all. Not because there was anything wrong with them, but because I decided to go with the offer from Hague Publishing as I was already signed to them with my first book. But I wouldn’t have had this good experience if I’d been too afraid to try after all the bad moments.

Realise only the very lucky make it big with their first book

Although I never expected to make a lot of money out of my first book, I was arrogant enough to think it should have been snapped up by one of the major publishing houses for being so good. Yes, I do cringe over that now as yes it’s a good story… but come on! It got the attention it deserved and earns me the brownie money I crave. I do wish it would sell more often as I do believe it’s a great story… but I’m happy with the attention I’m getting from it so far. It’s a first book, it’s an eBook of commercial fiction and I’m a no name who’s a Writer and not a Salesperson. Realise this could pretty much be me summing you up when you get published.

I’m not saying don’t be afraid to dream and aim high – I still pitched to the major publishers. But don’t go all diva and angry when you get rejected. And never turn down considering a legitimate offer from a smaller publisher. A break is a break! Don’t pout  when your work makes a pittance. You just need to try harder, work harder on your next book and keep at it.

One thing to remember if you’re becoming an e-published author is this: You’re earning more from your royalties than paper authors do on their first book. Seriously, author friends of mine (mostly via twitter) like Ann Cleeves, Cath Staincliffe and Michael Jecks all became authors in the age of only paper. An era where an author got between three and five percent of the sale of a book as their royalties. Me, as an e-published author, I currently get about forty five percent. No, that doesn’t make me a gazillionaire as my book is only sold for five dollars or under and I’ve maybe sold forty of them… do the maths. Per quarter I have been able to just scrape together enough for my brownie and hot chocolate but now all my friends and family own several copies I’m sure that amount is going to drop. 🙂

Becoming an Author isn’t instant fame and fortune for the majority of us. Some very, very lucky writers win the literary lottery and make it big first time… but that is a minority. The rest of us just get the privilege of being able to call ourselves an Author and then get on with our normal lives.

But don’t be disheartened by this, oh no… A very sage Writer (yes one I’ve mentioned a few times in this post) sat with me over coffee one day and said it’s better when you start small, keep at it, keep adding the books to your name and slowly get there. You learn the ins and outs of being an Author, of publishers, the lot. We absorb it over time and grow and get better. Those who do get lucky and get the major book deals for their first books start at the top end of the scale and then must work their bums off to stay there. The rest of us just keep plugging away at it to climb to the same rank.

And what happens to these Author starlets who make it rich, spend all their royalties and advancements on houses and cars and things but then fail to make their next book do so well? They are dropped like hot cakes and next to no one in the publishing world wants to meet their eye from that point on. They plummet well below where we struggling brownie seeking Authors are and then need to relearn everything and start all over again while carrying the weight of their instant success and sudden failure around with them.

This is why I am happy just aiming for brownie. 😉

Okay, so there it is! All my wise and sage advice on how it was I became an Author. Someone with a published book, who still struggles to pay the bills, is rarely ever recognised in the street and has only ever been asked for my autograph by a well-meaning friend. Hey, as long as those who read my book (soon to be books plural!) and enjoy them as much as I want them to… and I get my brownie money – I am honestly happy. I did it, I achieved my dream, I learnt it is an awesome thing to be… While really not making me any different than how I was before. I highly recommend anyone who wants to be an Author to become an Author. And I do hope my advice helps… even if it is once more the type of advice to take and do the total opposite of for success. 😀

Until next time,

Janis. XXOO

 
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Posted by on January 31, 2014 in Writing

 

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Welcome to my world and what lies within.

25 Jan

This week’s blog post is going to be a little bit different as it’s a sort of a sneak peek into my new eBook coming out later this year. Yes, Isis, Vampires and Ghosts – Oh My! will be available for you all to read soon!

Now, before my Publisher has a panic attack over the term ‘sneak peek’, please don’t panic as I’m not sharing the book… just the world it’s based in. 🙂

Basically, this post has come about as I was asked recently what the vampires in my world were like… and as I’d had to explain Isis for the cover design, that really only left ghosts, right?

And, in a low key shaking my assets moment, this post gives you a preview of my imagination and writing skills. Yes, I’m not just going to waffle on about being an awesome Writer and a not so well known Author, I’m going to show off my wares and my world… hmmm, not too sure if I have were creatures in my world… but there’s a thought. 😉

I will admit now though, that on saying this is my writing skill… I’m worried it’s going to come across as crap! Oh dear.

Okay, and so here we go, what are Vampires, Ghosts and even Isis herself like in my world? Am I just another cookie cutter paranormal adventure writer? Or is there something a little bit different here, like there is in my world of blondes and mathematics. Let me know what you think!

We’ll go in title order and start with Isis… within my world Isis is the Mother Goddess of Pagan belief more than she is the ancient Egyptian Goddess. And, yes, she is real… aren’t all Gods and Goddess real?

Isis has been revered throughout the centuries since ancient Egypt and each generation has created their own image of her. The Greeks, Romans even through to Victorian England folk have worshipped her. And I don’t just mean the hokum revival of all things Egyptian that happened in the Victorian era. Some of those educated and cultured people still followed the ‘old ways’.  — This is a true fact by the way, not just part of the story… actually it is this worship of Isis that helped make the story what it is.

But getting back to the story, my Isis is the Goddess that epitomises motherhood and being a strong woman. In looks, she is a pale skinned, dark eyed and dark haired woman of unknown years. I describe her like this:

‘…she was beautiful. And not in the way of a supermodel or how modern culture expected us to see a woman’s beauty. She held the flawless beauty that a young child only sees, through eyes clouded by love, in its mother and giver of life.’

Yeah, pretty much feel I nailed it with that one. 😉

On to vampires… if any of you like my author page on Facebook you would have seen this description earlier in the week as it really did instigate this blog post. No, I wasn’t in need of a blog post idea, but it inspired one all the same.

Vampires in my world do not sparkle or smoulder. They are a parasitic beast that lives on, not by dyeing young and staying beautiful, but by existing in blood stained by the banishment of a demon eons ago. They possess a person body and soul, turning them undead to prolong the suffering and feed off their very essence until they are an empty husk and their soul writhes in purgatory for the evil deeds and horror their body has inflicted upon the world while possessed.

You can destroy the host with burning or beheading, but as long as there is a sample of blood left, the vampire can live on. If the host is killed in this way, their soul is still lost to purgatory. It can only be saved within the first cycle of the moon from the point of said possession, but you are saving them in soul only. And you will require the crucible of the Vampire possessing them to achieve this goal.

My vampires do not sparkle, and smoulder, they glower, manipulate and cause harm for pleasure. All good girls need a blessed silver dagger of Isis, a decent prayer book, a splash of holy water and the vampire’s crucible if seeking to rid the world of them. The gloves are optional.

Onto the Ghosts of my world. They don’t clank chains, slime you or even lift a penny up and slide it along a door to pretty music. No, they are the everyday people trapped between the world we know and their next life by a dark ritual. They were people who did a bad deed in front of the wrong person, got caught in the act and were then bled to the point their lives wavered between one world and the next. They are then bound to an item of their making, whether it be a wooden box they’ve carved, a scarf they’ve knitted or a flower they have grown. Ghosts then become tools of the person they are bound to; they become an extension of their power. A ghost is simply the remaining life force energy, the aura, of a person and the item they’re bound to merely the storage device they are kept in. When extra life force energy is required for a ceremony, spell or for protection, the ‘owner’ of the ghost simply draws on their life force to back up their own. Vampires and other Other World creatures of Darkness often have a collection of ghosts to add to their own powers as needed.

Who a ghost is bound to can change, possession taken or given in trade or ceremony. Although a ghost is the image and personality of the person they had been before death, their monotone appearance changes colour to match the aura of the person they are bonded to. In a way, it is also a show of power as it shows the world exactly what sort of person their ‘owner’ is through the colour of their aura.

Ghosts can be destroyed by the vessel they are bound to being burnt, but their souls are then trapped in purgatory with no chance of moving on to the next life. To save a ghost you must find the right ritual, heavily linked to their culture’s religious rituals. Once a ghost is freed in this manner, it moves on into the Light until the time of their rebirth.

As to the Oh My! part of the title… oh there are so many moments in my world that need an Oh My! to explain them. The BirdFolk of Wroth, Earthed demons, women in long white robes that look as if they’ve just taken the sheets and curtains down and put them on… it’s all there.

I will mention that this world of mine has many sides to it. There’s the ‘normal’ world up against the Other World. The people who walk in the Light against those who walk in the Darkness… and then all those fascinating people who have learnt to walk in the Grey in between all these sides.

And so, there it is! A sneak peek into my world. Now, I do hope you realise this is just the world within my next series of books. It starts with Isis, Vampires and Ghosts – Oh My! but there are at least another five books in my head to get out to continue the journey. My actual real life world is far duller and consists more of horde wrangling, Haus Frauing and magic tricks that make money come from nowhere and cover all the bills and outstanding debts. Then, of course, there is the hot chocolate. 😉

Until next time,

Janis. XXOO

janishill_isisvampiresghosts_156x206mm_front_final

 
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Posted by on January 25, 2014 in Writing

 

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Letter to a Literary Agent – (and possibly how NOT to do it).

18 Jan

Now the title of this blog post may seem odd or even a desperate cry for attention. It’s not really and, as serious as the letter is, posting here is done with a mixture of sincerity and humour.

Basically, I will be posting my standard letter that is sent to literary agents… or, to be more precise, the type of letter I want to be able to send to a literary agent, if such people would give me the opportunity, ability too or even the time of day. As most places seem to need you to have been published, never been published, about to be published, never have looked a publisher in the eye, wear pink socks today, purple tomorrow and so many other requirements that, quite frankly, I’ve found it near impossible to find one to let me send this letter to them.

Not that it’s their fault they must be so restrictive, I fully understand why they must be extremely strict on what they look at and spend time on. Look, literary agents are running a business and are trained to glance at submissions and make snap decisions as to whether something will make them money or not. It’s business and I’d like to think it’s nothing personal.

We mere Writers will of course tend to take it personally and see it as another slight to our fantabulous work. But dear writers remember there are millions of us who do fantabulous work… and we out-number the Literary Agents by a great deal. This means only a very few lucky of us Writers, those who know how to pitch said work in such a way as to make it glitter like gold in the eyes of a literary agent, actually make it through the glance inspection. I am, obviously, not one of these. My work is either not to their style, in the genre they seek but not the right mood of that genre, that I am geographically challenged, that no one has heard of me or would want to… Oh, I don’t know, I made half of those excuses up as Literary Agents are even less likely to provide feedback with their rejection than a publisher is. It’s not their fault; they have a lot of us to wade through and only so many hours in the day to do it. I get that and wish them luck. 🙂

Do I expect literary agents to read my letter posted here and start emailing me, begging me to let them represent me? Pfffft, no! I mean, it would be nice, but I really don’t see it happening as I may be cynical, but I’m being a realist too.

So if I don’t expect a literary agent to read it, why post it? Well, basically as I want to. I want to have the opportunity to put my letter out there to show I tried. Yes I won’t reach the audience I originally wrote the letter for, but I hope those who do read if find it of some help. Even if that help is to teach them how not to write to a literary agent. 😉

Why do I have such a desperate need to get myself signed to a literary agent? Well, I wouldn’t say the need was desperate… but being signed would be nice. Why? Well it would mean I could truly get back to being a Writer and not have step into those shiny Author shoes and shake my assets all the time. I would have someone paid to do the shaking to let me get on with the writing.

And if I had a professional out there shaking my assets for me, I hope it would mean I could not only pay back my Publisher in kindness for taking a risk on me, but in the money they have risked on me too. And, although I’m not so much after the money as I am after people buying, reading and enjoying my work… it would be nice to ensure I’d be getting enough to pay the literary agent, the publisher and still have enough left each quarter for my brownie fix. 🙂

Plus, I want my books read, I want them enjoyed, I want to be the type of Author who ends a book on a suspenseful one line and makes the Reader desperate to get their hands on the next book in the series come hell or high water. The money would be nice too… but I really just want my work to be wanted, to be loved. Doesn’t every mother want that of their children?

Saying that however, I do feel I probably don’t really need to be signed to one right now as I’ve only got two eBooks to show as my Author portfolio. One published, the other to be published this year… and only about forty sales to my name (who knows how many actually count and how many were kind friends and family?) And this is probably the prime reason no literary agent would look at me right now. That and, as you’re about to see, my letter probably isn’t grabbing them in just the right place to glitter like the gold they need to make the risk on me worth it.

I also need to learn to write a decent synopsis as I am pretty sure I fail at those too. Mine either sound like a technical document talking you through the steps of the story, or the blurb you read on the back. I tried doing a workshop on it once, but well… I won’t be negative but not a lot of teaching happened while a lot of self-promotion of teacher’s work did. Ho hum.

And so here it is, in all its glory, my letter. Mock it if you will, I write fiction and always seem terrible when attempting to write fact. Just don’t mention this to the Companies I’ve written technical documents for as yes, they are factual, but it is a fictional belief that the staff will use them. 😉 I do ask you don’t steal it and use it as your own letter. Be a Writer and not a Thief.

You will notice I have added my own feedback to parts of it. They are, of course, absent from the real letter.

***

Dear [insert name of person or agency here],

My name is Janis Littleton, although I write under my maiden name of Janis Hill.

I’m writing to you to in regards to submitting a completed manuscript of… [insert word length, title and quick blurb of manuscript here… check out My Books to see my two current works].

I will admit now to having already starting to pitch the manuscripts to other literary agents and publishers, but am yet to receive a rejection. In fact two independent publishers have shown an interest in publishing it, which is why I am seeking the assistance of a literary agent. [This is really true for my most recent manuscript Isis, Vampires and Ghosts – Oh My! Not that it helped get me an agent.]

A little about me: I’m an emerging author who lives in the Adelaide Hills in Australia, I write commercial fiction under the wide umbrella known as speculative fiction. My first book (Bonnie’s Story – A Blonde’s Guide to Mathematics) has been bought by fans of Young Adult/ New Adult, light sci-fi fantasy and Chick lit and in reviews my writing style has been likened to Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams. My second book (Isis, Vampires and Ghosts – Oh My!) is a supernatural adventure and is part of a series. I am already working on the next book There’s no place like Hell and plan on at least one more after that titled We represent the Demon Guild. Yes, I have a whole Wizard of Oz quotes thing going on.

I have been writing all my life and, besides these two eBooks, have had minor success with articles and prose submitted to online ezines and competitions. Besides fiction writing, I am an ICT technical document writer/ User manual writer on a contractual basis – as the need takes us. I have also been a guest blogger to other sites, and have had my own blog reference by various sites too. Most recently I appeared as a guest blogger at The Book Geek Wear Pajamas (http://www.thebookgeekwearspajamas.co.uk/#!janis-hill/cutl).

Without current representation by a literary agent, I am very actively promoting my work and this has included holding a book launch for Bonnie’s Story during the Adelaide Writer’s Week in March 2013 as well as having my local library host a book launch for the same book on its release day in June that same year.  I have also arranged interviews/ articles in two local papers and have an internationally known local Magazine show an interest in also promoting me. My current publisher has had business cards created for my current book and I hand them out where I can to promote my work further. I shamelessly plug where I can to whomever I can.

I actively promote myself through a WordPress blog here: https://janishill-author.com/

Plus I have an author’s page on Facebook here: http://www.facebook.com/JanisHillAuthor

And a Facebook fan page for Bonnie’s Story, where I ‘blog like Bonnie’ on a weekly basis, here: http://www.facebook.com/BonniesStoryABlondesGuideToMathematics

Am also active as an author on Goodreads here: https://www.goodreads.com/author/dashboard

While being a member of ASA (Australian Society of Authors).

If you require further information, please don’t hesitate to email me.

Kind regards,

Janis Littleton

 ***

And there it is, my pitch. Probably explains why I am a no name little fish still swimming solo in the literary ocean but hey. As I tell people: You can’t say you’ve failed at something if you don’t at least try first.

Until next time,

Janis. XXOO

 
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Posted by on January 18, 2014 in Writing

 

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So, am I a Writer or am I an Author?

11 Jan

Those who actually read my blog posts may notice that I often chop and change between calling myself a Writer or an Author. So, which am I?

Well, both actually. I have been writing stories since I was taught how to construct a sentence, and I’ve been a published author since 2013. And for a time I basically went about as proud as punch telling people I was an Author – note the capital A. I made myself that glittery badge and all… well, at least I told people on here I did. 😉

Now, although I said I did go around telling people I was an Author (and I still sometimes do if there is the hope of drumming up a sale – a shaking my assets moment) I don’t anymore. No, I’ve reverted to being a Writer – yes with a capital W – and am rather proud of it too.

You see, not all Writers are Authors, but I would like to think all Authors are indeed Writers. Though, does this include those who write just to make sales and money? No, I don’t think they really are Writers with a capital W… merely someone who writes. As we Writers are people who have to write to get the stories out of our heads. Getting published and having people (who aren’t friends of family) actually buy and enjoy our books is just an added bonus. Those Authors who just churn out cookie cutter style stories simply to make money aren’t Writers; they’re Business People, as they are doing it as a business rather than as a way to keep the voices happy. 🙂 Now, I’m not saying all Writers are loopy and have voices in their heads that need silencing with a good few hours of typing madly away at a computer. I just know there is a good whack of us who are like this, and I get along with such Writer’s quite well.

In plainer terms, I am a Writer as I live and love to write. I am only an Author when I am trying to sell what it is I have written. So, on this blog I am still ‘an Author’ as, you see, I am still trying to sell myself to you and encourage you to like me and my books. Another shaking my assets moment, but one done in such a way I was kind of hoping you wouldn’t notice. I’ve ruined that now, haven’t I? 😉

Isn’t it better to be an Author than a Writer? I suppose so, in a way. It was my dream to become an Author and now that I’m living in the anti-climactic limbo of it all, I wonder what else I could dream to achieve. Yes, the blatantly obvious answer is to become an even better Author, perhaps even one people have actually heard of? One who has sold more than forty odd books? Maybe I’ll get there, maybe shaking my assets – now getting a little sore from all this shaking – will help? But that takes time, effort and a lot more blogging, shaking and writing. And so I am officially returning to the title of just being a Writer.

Being a Writer is far more fun. You don’t have to do book launches, smile cheesily at photographers to appear in the paper, shake a damned thing (unless you want to) and all you actually get to do is – write! Yippee! As that’s all I really want to do – and leave all the shaking and what not to someone else – I am far happier as a Writer.

Would I still be a Writer if I’d never been offered a publishing contract and made into an Author? Oh hell yes. But I would have also still tried to be an Author too. I may possibly have gone down the path of being self-published to become an Author, but I would not have learnt as much nor had as many experiences as an Author as I’ve had by doing it via a Publisher… Experience that has made me satisfied to be just a Writer. Had I not been offered the contract, I would have still been a Writer and will be one forever. But I would have been one wanting to be an Author… and now I am one, I may only be an Author for the next five years that my work is under said contract. See, being a Writer is the far better choice. If only I’d known. 😉

What, if anything, would I do differently as an Author now I know more about what it is to be one? Not a thing, as I wouldn’t have known half the stuff I do now, or be able to be happy with my ‘Writer’ badge if I changed my past experiences. What we do and how we react is what makes us what we are and makes our lives what they become. I needed the rejections, the snubs, the encouragements, all of it. That is what makes a good Writer into any sort of Author.

Will I keep starting every paragraph with a question? Sure, why not, it’s amusing me and that’s one of the main reasons I am a Writer. I enjoy it, it amuses me and it stops those damned voices in my head. So why not?

So, remembering to use the all important capitals, are you an Author or a Writer?

Until next time,

Janis. XXOO

 
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Posted by on January 11, 2014 in Writing

 

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At times I wonder if having a split personality is a good thing.

06 Jan

Hello everyone, I’m over that whole festive break, how about you? Now, this post’s title isn’t meant to make light of mental illness at all. Nor is the rest of the post as I go on to admit that I often feel slightly insane as I discuss demons suing people, maths that makes pockets in time and how exactly one would use ‘douche canoe’ in a sentence. And I talk about such things daily in the same casual manner that the weather, world events and child rearing is discussed by ‘normal’ people… or is that just by people who aren’t writers?

This feeling of mild insanity has meant a lot of well-meaning friends and family frequently post ‘crazy writer’ jokes on my personal Facebook page. It is, however all done in the best intentions as they seem to enjoy watching me mentally turn myself inside out trying to sort out the voices in head and get them down on paper. I feel right now I am slightly more insane than usual and I blame it on being so fond of first person prose. You see, both my books (Bonnie’s Story: A Blonde’s Guide to Mathematics and Isis, Vampires and Ghosts – Oh My!) are written in the first person, and yet my two protagonists aren’t carbon copies of each other. Yes they are both sarcastic, dominant and strong willed women… but that is about it. I have tried my damnedest to make them different people and not the carbon copy protagonist that happens with some authors who write various books (and series) in the first person. Different people seem to blur and meld into the same personality and almost same person… and I always feel a little disappointed when this does happen. Hence me trying my best to keep these ladies apart.

And usually I can keep them apart as I mentally become either Bonnie or Stephanie when I sit down and write of their adventures. In the past, this has been easy as I’ve basically written them one book at a time with large gaps in between them. This means, I can slowly slip into being one or the other and spend a good time in their mindset to get it right. Sadly this has recently changed as I’ve been trying to drum up interest (and fans) for Bonnie by blogging as her on a weekly basis on her Facebook page. I don’t mind doing the weekly blogs, and I do hope people are actually reading them and enjoying the continued story. However, when I then try and sit down and continue in Stephanie’s world while writing the next book in the series (There’s no place like Hell) I find myself having to delete the witty come back and sarcastic retorts and redo it as it had been more a Bonnie saying than a Stephanie one. So far, I’ve not had Stephanie snort, ladylike or otherwise, but it has been a close thing. If Bonnie appears on the Moon in elbow length leather gloves… yeah, you know I’ve cracked and lost that professional edge I am trying to pretend to have. I think of it as socks… stick with me here. I put on one pair of socks to be Stephanie and another to be Bonnie. Right now I feel like I’m wearing both pairs, one over the other, and the pair on top has holes in them so the socks beneath are poking through. No, please don’t get the straightjacket yet, I thought that rather a good analogy.

I’m fairly sure I’d get more sympathy from friends if Isis, Vampire and Ghosts – Oh My! was available for them to read, but that isn’t going to be the case until later this year. If they could just see  how different these gals are, they’d understand my struggle. In the mean time I will just go cross eyed as I move from the blonde, bossy Hairdresser to the grumpy, cynical ex-accountant now ‘Protector of Souls’ in the one day. And then, trying to write like me here on my own blog – good God I ask for a lot, don’t I? This is why I mention multiple personalities (and holey socks), and why I have a strong feeling I’m not the only writer who had this problem.  And, of course, why I describe myself as being insane… but I do honestly mean it in the best possible way. 😉

And so, with Bonnie and co to the left of me and Stephanie and her ‘men’ to my right… do my own thoughts ever get a word in edgewise? Ummm, yeah, I think so. Though right now trying to run two different worlds and be two different women – while still being my Haus Frauing self, wrangling hordes on their loooong summer holidays in ‘reality’ – the lines aren’t so much as blurring as just tangling up and tripping me so I fall flat on my face a lot. Yes, you too can become a writer if you suffer from this on a daily basis. 😀

Hoping to have more interesting things to shed light on in my next blog post… doing my best to not bore you with the antics of my hordes, those ‘dear diary’ type dull monologues on how I spent my holidays or chat about food and the old recipes I have been bringing back to life. Have a good one and hopefully chocolate will be issued and sanity will resume shortly.

Until next time,

Janis OOXX.

 
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Posted by on January 6, 2014 in Writing

 

Special post – a short story titled ‘Bonnie goes to Bondi’.

31 Dec

Hello again, yes I’ve survived the silly season more or less intact and I hope you all have too. This blog post is a special treat for fans of Bonnie’s Story – A blonde’s guide to mathematics as it is a short story set in Bonnie’s universe.

Why have I done it and am sharing it? Well, I did it as I’ve embarked on a hobby or writing short stories based in each state and territory of Australia. I’ve done South Australia (The last tenant of Adelaide), Tasmania (Family Secrets) and this one is for New South Wales. I know it, sadly, has a bit of a porno like title – damn Debbie and what she got up to in Texas – but it isn’t anything like that. No, just another snippet that makes up the weird and wonderful life of Bonnie.

And I’m sharing it on my blog, unlike the other short stories, for a few reasons. One as a sort of gift to my followers… yeah, I couldn’t afford to get you all socks and chocolates sorry. Secondly as wanted to share a little more of Bonnie as we’ve just reached 1,000 likes on her Facebook page.

I do hope people enjoy the story, though I freely admit you may want to have not only read Bonnie’s Story first, but all the little story snippets on her Facebook page as they’re all connected and part of the ongoing story. If you still need a copy of the original story, go here. Yes there will still be an official and proper sequel to Bonnie’s Story at some point, but these snippets are really just meant to keep the audience amused while I’m off playing with Stephanie, Isis and all those characters in my other series.

Here it is! Bonnie goes to Bondi.

***

As I may have mentioned before, The Gang aren’t that into Christmas. Technically neither am I, but when it came to Boxing Day this year I decided we could at least have a go at celebrating it in true Australian style and go to the beach.

Upon their unenthusiastic looks, I clarified it had to be an Australian beach and if they weren’t careful I would be more forceful with my request. It’s Christmas, as if they’d make me put money in the ‘Must not coerce’ jar. Yeah, I’d kind of had to mention that rather strongly a few times before they stopped pointing at the jar with a disapproving look every time I strongly suggested something.

And so, we put some beach names in a jar – a different jar – and I had Nimirlan choose the place. Not too sure, but I really do feel his calm demeanour and the way no one can ever get angry at him is part of his ‘The Gang Special Powers’, which is why I had him do the choosing. That way no one would cause a fuss at the result. And why would they? As we got Bondi baby!

Trust Sydney to be having a hot spell this Christmas. I mean, I know summer in Australia is hot… but this was hot! Cook an egg still in its shell within 5 minutes if buried in the white sand hot. So glad they’d left the swear jar at home. In my defence I wasn’t swearing at anyone, simply about the weather and so I feel that shouldn’t count.

But arrive we did on the long stretch of well-known and overly crowded iconic Australian beach, where Clara and I set to work clearing a large enough space in the crowd to allow The Gang to set up their little beach tent. Usually I was rather embarrassed to be seen amongst these mostly milky white obvious nerds as they pitched their UV protective tent and huddle inside as if skin cancers would start popping out all over them if the wind changed. Today, however, I was glad of the shade, shelter and relatively cooler temp inside the tent. Sadly I had to sit next to Clara, which wasn’t ideal. But as the other option would have been helping The Gang slather themselves in sunscreen, any shelter in a storm, right?

Being in a crowded situation as we were, Rogan immediately reverted to his usual distant and studying persona I’d gotten used to. Heck, it meant he didn’t talk back when I took him shopping, but it did mean our trips out in public were otherwise rather dull. After a headcount, I noticed we were down a Gang member and so glanced out into the heaving mass of semi naked bodies of various shades and shapes – from this angle there was barely an ocean to see through the legs and other seated groups – and realised Clara had been intently watching Jelly do that magical trick of changing into a wetsuit while wearing only a towel.

“No visible tan line.” I didn’t realise I’d mused that remark out loud until I caught the tug of grumpy emotions from Rogan on one side of me and a happy sigh from Clara on the other.

“Spotted that too huh?” she smiled, not at me but obviously at the memory of her own ‘accidental’ visit to the bathroom when Jelly was occupying it.

“I’ve seen better,” I lied, hoping to ease a certain ego on my left. It seemed to work as he returned to being engrossed in the calculations he’d been working on. I obviously loved Rogan; I had to, to be willing to admit to know someone sitting next to me on Bondi beach with a slate and piece of chalk. Had he not heard of an I-Pad?

“How does he do that?” Clara’s voice held a level of awe that had me twitching uncomfortably. Yes I knew she meant Jelly, as he completed his wetsuit changing act, and not the way Rogan could tune out our location to focus on Maths. Still, I didn’t want to be a part of whatever lewd thoughts she was having over our surf crazy Gang member.

“Trust me, I get the feeling he grew up in this neck of the woods.” I replied, trying to be friendly with her – Rogan made me try at least three times a week – “And if he was raised a beach bum, has been able to change in and out of clothes while wrapped in a towel since he was able to wrap a towel around himself.”

“Shame this isn’t a nude beach.” Clara then sighed wistfully and that was enough for me, was she deliberately trying to piss me off? Or was that just her Gang Superpower?  Giving Clara a look while thinking long and hard at her about how I was feeling – I knew she got it from startled look in my direction – I rose to my feet and walked away. My casual stroll was as lady like as I could – which is an art when in thongs (flip flops if I must) and staggering through ankle deep fine and burning hot sand – to where Jelly was now checking over a surfboard that was moving from a vintage look to possibly antique. Where he had got it from I don’t know, but having learnt of some of the stuff currently living on The Moon, a surfboard was really not something to be amazed at.

“Seriously, you get a modern wetsuit, but stick to this old junker?” I asked in my ‘I’m being polite but may sound bitchy to the untrained ear’ tones. He smirked at me and shook his head.

“I don’t tell you which are the best pair of scissors to cut someone’s hair with Bonnie, so don’t tell me which is the better board for me.” Yeah, Jelly was used to me using that tone on him. He was about one of the only gang members who seemed to take the tone for what it was.

“But it’s so old!” I baited him, anything to keep me from the tent of glistening, oiled up nerds, a distant boyfriend and Clara.

“It was the prime of its time hon.” Jelly smirked at me, “One of the first six footers and a gift to me from none other than Midget Farrelly.” He looked at me as if I should recognise that name. Okay, so I would google it later.

“Sweet?” I offered, never being one to bother learning surfing talk. Another grin from Jelly and he was off through the crowds towards the shoreline. For such a stinking hot day, it seemed there was actually a good surf out there… not that I really new anything about that sort of thing and maybe Jelly was just that desperate for a spin on that board that any old wave would do?

Looking back to the tent I gave a mental shudder and decided to go for a walk. I had on a lovely long, breezy beach dress over my bathers and a floppy hat to avoid as much of the sun as I could. I’d also gooped the suntan on in the privacy of the Moon before we left. Speaking of avoiding things, I had to make a large detour around a group of beet red and obviously drunk backpackers, before I could make it to the water’s edge and cool my tootsies in the froth. As much as these shorter jaunt via Maths didn’t vegetate me as much as the original journeys did, I still got an uncomfortable feeling for the first few minutes and felt it best to try and just walk it off.

On reaching the waves and shifting sand I slipped off my thongs, gathered them in one hand and let myself go to the hypnotic feeling of being dragged into the ocean while still standing right where I was. You know, the way the sand beneath you shifts and runs with the outgoing wave and so the feeling of movement is all around you while you know you’re standing still? It kind of reminded me of Maths travel and I found by giving myself up to the odd sensation my usual Maths sickness started to fade. It’s something I’d learnt when visiting the Bahamas earlier in the year.

Letting myself go to this weird sensation I was able to almost drown out the hundreds of people around me and the searing heat now only mildly dampened by the limp ocean breeze.

“If I went out into that ocean and waved my arms about, which one of the dishy rescuers do you think would come to my aid?” it was Clara, obviously on heat from her line of conversation today, standing next to me. I’d watched a couple of episodes of ‘Bondi Rescue’ with her so I knew exactly what she was talking about.

“How about you just go do that and find out.” I replied in my best sweet, but bitchy, tones. A look of uncertainty crossed her face. “What would you do if I tried?” she was worried now, heck I’d come to Bondi for a bit of fun. If that included messing with a few annoying people’s minds, how was that my fault?

“As if I would…” I began, but was then distracted by the sight of the majority of The Gang entering the water nearby. They were always quite the show stopper in such situations – especially their generations of swimsuits – and I’d learnt from experience they were worse than toddlers when it came to leaving them to their own devices around water deeper than their ankles.

“You!” I raised my voice and pointed at The Gang as a whole. “I’m watching all of you and expect you to show some common sense while in the water.” I stalked towards them along the water’s edge, dismissing Clara to do as she wished, and stood hands on hips scowling at The Gang in all their glory.

“Don’t make me have to coerce you back to your towels.” I warned them, “As the Life Savers around here have better things to do with their time than deal with nerds placing bets on who can stay under water the longest.” I wasn’t being bossy or even coercive. I was merely putting down the usual ground rules before they drew a crowd for all the wrong reasons.

“Yes mum.” Teased Baloney, but quickly cowed as my eyes narrowed on him. “Don’t make me paint ‘Jerk’ on your back in a thicker layer on sunscreen.” I warned him, “Remember how long it took to wear off the last time?” The rest of The Gang snickered while Baloney blushed to the same shade as his hair. Seriously, shouldn’t a red head know better than be out in the Australian summer sun?

“Just. Behave.” I warned, possibly using a little force to my words. They’d not brought that jar along either.

After dismissing The Gang to do what they would, I continued my paddle on the tide line and did my best to ignore what they then got up to. There were grown men after all, supposedly.

As I headed towards the area known as ‘Backpackers Rift’ the crowds on the beach petered out, as I was technically beyond the area between the yellow and red flags – that being the area beach goers are asked to stay to ensure a better success at rescuing them from the ocean if they struck trouble. As I wasn’t planning on entering the water, I didn’t think I would get in too much trouble from straying from the flags. It was then that I spotted the girl, sitting away from the crowds, but obviously not lost or distressed in any way. She was aged about six – like I would know the age of a child, being someone who found other people’s children more painful than prom week – and happily squatting on the damp sand doodling with a thin piece of drift wood. I was fascinated at first by her fine, flaxen coloured hair drifting in the breeze as I would kill to have that colour naturally. I then noticed her doodles. Some seemed innocent enough, being just naïve depictions of fish and turtles, while others seemed to curl into near mathematical equations that looked strangely familiar.

“I told him I could figure out what C equated to.” The girl said, almost to herself, before realising she had an audience and looked up at me, her expression going from wary concern to a blindingly beautiful smile. I was struck dumb by her reaction to me, so calm, so welcoming and a little unsettling as her eyes looked strangely familiar.

“My name is Polly.” She announced, unasked, and rose gracefully to her feet and wiped out her doodling with her left foot. I didn’t know what to say to this so just nodded, possibly dumbly. I’d always liked the name Polly, ever since I’d had a friend of that name in primary school.

Young Polly smiled again and glanced over at The Gang with a giggle. “Pockets, so much fun.” She remarked. It was such an odd statement I wondered what on earth The Gang were up to so looked back over my shoulder to stare at them in the ocean. They weren’t up to anything that untoward and nothing to do with pockets and so I turned a questioning eye back to Polly. She wasn’t there, though her scrubbed out drawings could still be seen in the damp sand. As I looked for her up the beach I thought I saw her golden head briefly, near another beach tent, and then a crowd of muscle men blocked my view. When I looked again, girl and tent were gone… as if they’d never actually been there. I gave a shudder. I was meant to be having fun in the sun, not playing Alice and tripping face first down a rabbit hole. And so I moved on in my slow walk along the beach, occasionally glancing to The Gang, refusing to look again to where I’d last seen Polly.

I eventually knew I needed to turn around and so I wandered back down the beach through the rising tide as it wiped all earlier evidence I’d been there already from the beach. Again I was amazed at how the waves were so similar to Rogan’s Maths and then sighed at myself for getting too caught up in the sciencey stuff when I was meant to be enjoying my moment on an Australian iconic landmark. I won’t say it was Australia’s best beach, but the atmosphere and surrounding shops and places did put it into the top ten at least.

It was a nice surprise to be joined by Rogan shortly after that and after a little gentle coercion from him – so cute when he tries it – we found a fairly quiet place between the flags, still in the shallow end of the beach, and had a fun time together doing what lovers do best when visiting such a wonderful beach and surrounded by hundreds of other people. I found what we got up to not only helped drown out all those around us, but helped me forget Polly, almost.  I’m fairly certain we didn’t end up on that TV show as part of the raunchy side of Bondi guests. Must re-watch the series to check.

The day ended with us all traipsing back to the Moon trailing sand behind us. I wasn’t going to be the one who cleaned it up, especially not after I’d bought The Gang a Roomba for Christmas. It was still having issues discovering which walls were real and which were metaphysical boundaries within the Moon. You can teach a robot not to fall off the top of the stairs while it vacuums, but have it navigate around a bubble in time… Oh well, hoping it will figure out soon and not blow up in the process!

When we returned, Clara was in a mood as she’d not been rescued by anyone and seemed a little put out by that fact and so stormed off to her room in a huff.

The gang were in various levels of over excited exhaustion and sunburn from a mildly pink nose for Nimirlan and Jelly to a nasty red that desperately needed a good aloe cream for Baloney. I’d warned him. Their moods varied from grumpy to hyper and I seriously felt like I’d become a babysitter shortly after it was decided we pack up and come home. We’d considered stopping for dinner but, no offence to The Gang, but there was only so much time out in public I could cope with them.

Besides, various Gang members were sporting injuries from their adventures, not all of which I really wanted to know about. After a quick good night, they too shuffled off to their rooms. I shuddered to think what the state of their sheets would be as none, but Jelly, seemed interested in a shower before bed to remove the last of the beach from their behinds.

Me, I bid them all a good night and returned to my home smelling of the ocean and sunscreen and desperate to get rid of the sand between my toes… and other places. All in all it had been a good Boxing Day, any time you get to spend it on the beach, how could it not be?

Rogan surprising me in the shower shortly before bed time – and dodging my startled swinging elbow – was just the icing on the cake for a good day.

As much as I’ve often dreamt of trying one of those cold and snowy winters of the northern hemisphere, and New Year’s Eve in Paris is still very tempting, you really can’t beat a good summer Christmas, or it’s following days of surf, sand, sun and fun.

 
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Posted by on December 31, 2013 in Writing

 
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