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Monthly Archives: March 2014

Do you use emotional memories to write a better story?

Hello! Yes, I’ve been a bit quiet on my blog for a few weeks. Partly due to yet another sinus infection (I’m good at those) and partly as my crappy old laptop is going through another phase of only opening a little and having the screen work at the same time… if that makes sense.

Basically, I can either type or I can read the screen, it won’t open up wide enough for me to be able to see what it is I’m actually typing… and that sort of puts a dampener on my writing as I tend to read it as I’m writing (not looking at the keys as I type as some do) and so I now feel like I’m on a typewriter and oh those are some painful memories!

See, I was raised in a technologically advanced family and have been using computers since I was five years old. So to then be forced to do a typewriting course in high school… Yes I failed the course as I, like many software programs, was unable to downgrade my abilities to suit the equipment. The rather blunt remarks – about the Stone Age tools I was being forced to use – to any teacher listening possibly didn’t help my grades either. 😉

So that’s my excuse as to why I’ve been a bit quiet. Call it a diva moment at not being able to write to my best capacity and therefore having a dummy spit. I’ll agree to a point. But seriously, I’ve been sick in bed the last week with a sinus infection, followed by head cold given to me by my hordes and that has caused more issues with my writing.

But I’m not spending this post going on and on about being a slack blogger. No, I use Facebook to whinge about my life and this blog to try and sound like I’m more with it and knowledgeable. So let’s skip over all the unwell and crappy laptop issues and get on with the real reason for the post – Do you use emotional memories to write a better story?

Why do I ask this? Thank you for asking! Basically, as I write this we are marking the fourth anniversary of my son having to undergo open heart surgery to fix a doubly committed ventral septal defect (aka a hole between the bottom two chambers of his heart just below the valve that may have caused a valve prolapse and possible death). He was nine months old when, as I artistically describe it they: took my baby away, put him to sleep, cracked his chest open like a chicken, stopped his heart for two hours and fixed his ticker.

He was diagnosed with the hole at eight weeks of age and it was so bad you could feel the way the blood was being pumped incorrectly every time you put your hand on his tiny chest. The good thing was he was a perfectly normal child in appearance, other than that. Yes he couldn’t go outside during the winter as he got chest infections at the drop of a hat… but other than that he seemed perfectly fine.

As you can probably imagine, my life at the time was pretty horrific. Not only had an organisation I’d worked at for several years forced me into redundancy (in a rather messy, nasty way I won’t go into) I then gave birth to a child who was a ticking time bomb. My cynical outlook on life grew darker, I gained a lot of weight from the need to medicate myself with copious amounts of chocolate and all in all it was a dark time in my life.

But! He had the operation and within four days of being treated like said chicken he came home with me… on my birthday. They did the operation in Brisbane, Queensland (one of two cities in Australia that do it) and we got a free trip there and got to spend a week at my in laws on the Sunshine coast to recuperate. So I guess there were some positives… I just don’t remember them as I was just in a stressed out haze at the time. And my son today is fine… as far as we can tell. He is due for his next cardiologist check-up later this year. He’s not been since he was two and they didn’t want to see him until he was five. As the check-ups for ‘bad’ cases are annual, I’ve always taken this as a good sign.

So back to the Writer side of it. Now, if I ever want to write something sad, painful and full of remorse and tears and you know, the stuff people love to read and feel themselves – I go back to those memories and that nasty part of my life. Heck, I’m a mum of three… I’m fairly certain there are still a few bad moments to come but I like to think I’ve gotten some training in to start with. So, fellow writers, do you do this too?

As now I’m wondering am I a bad parent to exploit those emotional times and fuel my words and stories with them? I suppose I must think of good, happy times for parts of my books too. I just don’t remember them as strongly as when I need to draw on this ‘inner darkness’ to be creative.

Are Writer’s sick individuals to feed off the bad bits of reality and use it to spin stories? Are we sadist that we want other people to have these emotions rub off on them too? Or am I just being too depressingly dark and I should focus more on the times my kids have cracked me up and how those moments have influenced funny parts of my stories?

Is it only the bad stuff that makes me guilty? I mean, it’s not as if I put down word for word what happened in my life and pretend it’s a fictional story. Dear God that would be boring if I did. It’d all be ironing, cleaning, cook books and whatever funnily embarrassing thing my hordes had done to me that day. Like my nine year old having a tanty the other day that she couldn’t enrol in a degree to do bioevolutionary science as you need to have passed year twelve biology to do it… and she’s only in year four. How I would wind that into one of my stories I don’t know… but my kids do sometimes make it stranger than fiction. 😉

I guess I have reached that massively waffling point where I should end the blog. Have I really even covered the point I was trying to make? Or just made everyone depressed by sharing some memories of this day four years ago?

To summarise – is it wrong to take emotional times from our lives and use them to try and write a better story? Not the actual experience, just the emotions that came with them? The good, the bad and the pass the tissue box moments in life? Does it make for better reading? Or is it more of a therapy to the Writer?

I’m curious to know what other people think on this as maybe I’m just making myself feel guilty for no reason and did actually use this blog as a platform to remember a dark time in my life.

Until next time,

Janis. XXOO

 

 
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Posted by on March 30, 2014 in Writing

 

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The distractions of a Writer.

Recently I’ve put my foot down as to whether I’m a Writer or a Haus Frau who occasionally writes and made myself spend more time writing… as I want to be a Writer more than a drudge.

And, as our house is currently in a state of flux as we re-arrange how it all goes, the only place I have to sit and write right now is… cross legged on my bed. Which is what I’m doing right now! But relax, that’s not what this blog post is about.

A metre or so from where I’m sitting cross legged and writing is a bedroom window that looks out over the front yard. I can’t say ‘front lawn’ as that area too is in a state of flux as we dig up the lawn and replace it with shrubs and bushes that are far more ‘obscenely extreme’ weather resistant and not so water reliant. Yes, I live in the Adelaide Hills where we yo yo from plus forty degrees Celsius to minus four. Thankfully not on the same day… but it can make growing things a little hard.

So anyway, I sit and write and try not to procrastinate by just staring out the window. But there have been distractions out there of late and I’ve decided to use this week’s blog to not waffle on about being a writer, but of something more amusing. Call it a blog about procrastinating if you will. The distractions are… magpies.

Now I really don’t know how many of my blog readers are Australian and therefore know I mean Australian magpies – a bird­ not a football team. For those who don’t, I’d suggest going to check them out on youtube where you’ll find many a wonderful film clip of the Australian magpie ‘argle gargling’ away at you. That’s the sound they make by the way, not something they actually do at you like a flasher or something.

Me, I love magpies. I grew up in the Northern Territory of Australia and we don’t have magpies up there. I don’t know if it’s due to climate, resources, that cyclone Tracy blew them all away and they never came back (a theory of a friend of mine when we were kids, that cyclone got blamed for a lot of things). Still, no magpies growing up meant they were one of those unique specialities one only ever got when visiting family ‘down south’ in either Queensland or here in South Australia. They were new, foreign, alien to a tropical child like me. Just like temperatures less than twenty five degrees Celsius or water coming out of the cold water tap actually being cold and not warm to body temperature. And that love of these birds has stayed with me even after I spent eight years living with them in Brisbane (Queensland) or another eight here in the Adelaide Hills.

This love of the good old black and white maggie could be why I have been distracted by them, but I’m a bit of a bird lover in general and most birds tend to distract me. And not just when a falcon swooped down outside my window, pinned a sparrow to the dirt and then took off with it.Truth be known I’m actually a bird whisperer. As in, birds seem to like me as much as I like them. Parrots especially come to me (wild or otherwise) and if I’m ever alone in my garden I’m soon surrounded by sparrows, magpies, parrots and the chickens. Think of it as a bit of a Snow White moment… except the slack buggers don’t bother to help me out with the chores. And so, birds interest me and I will often stop and just watch them.

However! The magpies that have been distracting me over the last few weeks are doing so not by simply being birds, but by their near human like antics. They’re a family of four, two adults of black and white and two juveniles who are more black and grey. It’s the ‘kids’ that have been making me laugh the most.

It started when we had to dig out our septic tank. See, living rural as we do we’re not connected to a sewerage system. Instead we have a septic tank that our council comes and pumps out every four years. All we need to do, once they tell us they’re coming to do it, is uncover it from under a few feet of dirt and wait. The septic tanks in our street are located in our front yards for easy access for the council to get to. Sadly, this meant the day they did pump it out meant I couldn’t work in my room…  where I write being located only a few metres away from the tank… Ew. But back to the juvenile magpies! Once the tank had been uncovered it meant there was a pile of dirt (as well as the hole) in our yard… right in front of my window. One morning I’m sitting there typing away when I hear this funny noise. Juvenile magpies make funny noises as it is, almost as if they’re chatting in argle gargle. But this sounded more like giggling in argle gargle. I look out my window and see one of the juvenile maggies roll down the dirt pile. I snicker at its clumsy mistake and keep writing… only to see it do it again. Now my full attention is on the dirt pile as, taking turns like all good children do, they are climbing to the top of the dirt pile and deliberately rolling to the bottom. And all the time they are making these giggling like sounds. I laugh at the bird’s fun and enjoyment and one of them spots me through the netted curtain. They stop, look guilty and scurry away. Oops!

A few days later, the magpie kids are back, making similar noises and when I look out this time they are having a dirt fight on the pile. I kid you not. They’re picking up little clumps of dirt in their beaks and throwing them at each other, trying to dodge out of the way and giggling. These are birds here remember. I may be a tad eccentric but I am seriously not making this up. After watching them for a few minutes I once again, stupidly, laughed. They saw me, scurried off. And throughout the rest of the day this little grey and black head kept popping up and checking to see whether I was sitting on the bed or not. So cute, even if laughing at its appearance caused a squawk and for the bird to toddle off again.

The other day I came home from the shopping and couldn’t help but laugh as it appeared we had a magpie sports day happening in the front yard. By now the septic tank had been pumped and reburied and so the yard is a vaguely flat area again. And there, on one side right up against the edge of the garden stood two adult magpies looking rather bored. While in the middle of the ‘lawn’ two juvenile magpies chased each other while obviously playing ‘keepy off’ with a plant label. As in, one of the young birds would take this label (ripped off one of my newly purchased plants I may add) and kept ducking and diving and throwing the label away from the other young bird and then scurrying to get it before its opponent could. As I’ve just started being a soccer mum to my eldest child, it all looked just so familiar to me. They, thankfully, couldn’t hear me laughing from in the car but all four birds looked rather affronted when I had to get out to put the groceries away as I had chilled items I needed to keep chilled. They stalked off as if I was interrupting play. Oh dear.

Does anyone else have magpies that do this? Or other birds that distract them from their writing in such ways? I’m so amused by their antics I’m thinking of starting a joke blog for them. Something like ‘the day in the life of family Magpie’ or ‘diaries of a magpie’ in the similar vein to that of Jackie French and her wombats. Hmmm, there’s a thought, no wombats here. That’s a shame. Echidna, emus, kangaroos and the usual feral animals… but no wombats. If we had one of those would be need to dig up the septic tank every four years? Can a wombat be trained I wonder?

So the next time you go to write and get distracted from it, I guess it shows you’re a Writer if what you’re distracted by makes you want to write some more. I’m half tempted to put an old cat toy out in the front yard to see what those kids get up to next.

Until next time,

Janis. XXOO

 
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Posted by on March 15, 2014 in Writing

 

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Twitter etiquette – how to use this social media tool rather than become one yourself.

Now before I even explain this blog post to people I feel a great need to remind my readers I’m an overly sarcastic cow and pretty much everything I say should be taken tongue in cheek. Yes, those who know me well even pause to dissect me greeting them with ‘hi, how are you?’ before responding. I’m indeed that bad.

Okay, so now we have the friendly warning out of the road, anyone who doesn’t get sarcasm who is continuing to read this does so at their own risk. I mean, not all of this post is sarcastic, far from it… but there are just going to be moments that some may read wrong without this initial warning.

What is this week’s post about? Well, if the title isn’t self-explanatory enough, it’s about Twitter and the dos and don’ts of how to interact on it. All these topics of etiquette come from my point of view and so may not be the globally recognised approach to Twittering… but hey. My blog, my rules. 😉

Think of it as a check list if you follow me on Twitter and wonder why I don’t follow you back. As, to me, Twitter is the part of the internet where strangers can still meet instantly and either become friends or not. Bad Twitter etiquette is like having bad breath… yes, you may be a victim of social media halitosis so let’s see if we can find you a cure… or at least a really strong breath mint.

We’ll start with the basics – your profile pic and blurb. I don’t talk to eggs and animated pics give me a headache. I’m not saying you need to display a picture of yourself in your profile. I know many (myself included) wished I would change my ugly mug to something nicer. However, if you go with the Twitter default egg or something that shimmers and moves and irritates – bad move. Then again I feel the same about overly pornographic, idiotic or even ‘fish face’ shots. Be yourself, well, as much of yourself as you can be without people seeing too much of you and then wishing it wasn’t wiggling at them every time you post.

As for the profile blurb, it’s good to start with at least having one. I don’t know why, but I have no interest in following someone who has nothing in their blurb. I liked to know people a little before adding their babble to my Twit stream. The blurb should also not be entirely made up of hashtags and web addresses. Some are okay, everything tagged and bagged? No. You don’t have to include your life story in the limited amount of characters provided… but something of use helps people get to know you better so they can decide whether you’re worth a follow. And, sadly, Twitter seems to be all about the followers. Me, I’m more into quality of followers over quantity and so may be biased when it comes to who I follow.

Don’t be something/ someone you’re not on Twitter. It’s okay to have a joke account or fan club on there… but don’t pretend to be someone else. Those poor celebrities types have a hard enough time being famous and being online without people adding to their woes and pretending to be them. And, to be honest, those I’ve seen pretending to be someone they’re not fail miserably and tend to come across as a douche. If you’re too afraid to be yourself, don’t use Twitter. I will, however, emphasise that joke accounts are acceptable. There are some awesome ones out there and I love their posts. I’m looking at you @ThatBucketWoman, @MrsStephenFry and @BridgetandJoan.

Some see Twitter as just free advertising space and will simply tweet about their book, product, service, business, etc. As I’m writing this the Monty Python song ‘Spam’ has started in my head. What can I say, but yes, you need to shake your assets when and where you can and it is indeed a free service to allow you to do this. I occasionally show off my book and ask people to buy it on Twitter. Note: occasionally. There are a lot of people who use Twitter to socially interact with others, not go shopping for a new house, toy, book, insurer and so on. I know this may come as a surprise to some, but using your Twitter account to just constantly tweet at people to buy whatever it is you’re selling is annoying and a good way to find yourself blocked and reported for being spam.

There are some exceptions to this rule. I mean, there are certain Twitter accounts where you expect this sort of behaviour as they are the Twitter account of an internationally recognised product. Whether it is a soft drink, chocolate, car, phone, whatever. Still, I find them annoying (especially when their tweets appear in my Twit stream as they paid to have them promoted) and so I do indeed block them too. I just don’t report the official sites as spam. Call me Ms Manners.

Other times this behaviour is accepted is when it is a book or film reviewer, a publishing house or set up specifically for a TV/ radio show or play. Most of these accounts plainly state what it is they are in their profile and so if you follow them you really should expect them to tweet about books, films and what not and not much else. I know common sense is a dying art but come on people, give it a go!

When to block and when to block and report as spam? Basically, if it’s an account I don’t want to see but will as they’ve paid Twitter to promote them – meaning shove their tweets into everyone’s Twit stream – I simply block them. As much as I feel that are spamming me, they’re technically not. So I just block them in the vain hope they won’t darken my door again.

Accounts that have next to no followers and a dicey looking profile blurb and pic that just seem to tweet ‘hey check this out’ and add a web address… These are spammers and trolls and should indeed be blocked and reported as spam. And I strongly advise everyone to do so. Don’t just ignore them and expect them to go away. The good team at Twitter need to be alerted to such idiots and can only know they’re there if enough people report them. Come on, now you’ve tried common sense let’s throw a bit of proactive behaviour in for good measure!

Oh, and never ever click on their web addresses. If they are indeed websites, they’re not worth visiting. But what is more likely going to happen it’s some nasty little malware link that allows them to hack your Twitter account and then use you to send the same spammy messages to others. And it’s just plain nasty when they do this to your followers via direct messages. If you’re not careful it will be your account that is blocked and reported as spam.

Just because someone has followed you on Twitter, it doesn’t mean you need to follow them back. I mean, some Twitter protocols dictate that the follow back is the done thing… quite frankly not for me. As mentioned, I use Twitter to interact with people and make friends… not get myself a many followers as possible. Strangely rare, I know. So if I don’t like the look of the account of a new follower, I won’t follow them. The majority of the reasons why I won’t follow them are listed in this blog.

Simple rule of thumb when wanting to follow someone (or follow back as the case may be) is this: Do they look interesting in their pic and blurb? Who follows them, anyone you know? What do they tweet? Do they actually interact with others on Twitter, or do they simply tweet ads, spam, quotes from others, etc. Does that interest you enough to want to follow them? What I’m trying to say is do they look like someone you want to receive tweets from… if yes, follow them. I’m not you’re mother and can’t stop you. 😉

The other side to the whole ‘follow back’ protocol is don’t expect people to follow you back simply because you followed them. If you’ve followed them as they’re a celebrity you like… seriously it rarely happens that they’re going to follow you back. Their Twit stream is crowded as it is. If they’re someone you find interesting and enjoy reading the tweets of… do they need to follow you back? Or is what you’re getting enough? If you want them to follow you back as you feel they’d enjoy what you have to say just as much… tweet them. It’s not hard to just comment or say hello. Sometimes they still won’t follow you back – fine. Your choice as to whether you keep following or unfollow. Just don’t have a dummy spit and send them an abusive tweet because they won’t follow you. You’ll look like a five year old.

One of the most important DON’TS of Twitter is don’t send people a direct message as soon as they follow you back asking them to buy, try, visit, join or follow anything. That will cause an immediate unfollow by me and many I know. That is a form of spam and is unforgivably rude. Especially for those who have it set up to happen automatically. Direct messages are private conversations between people who follow each other on Twitter. If you’re going to abuse it like that, you may find yourself reported as spam.

I don’t mind using direct messages and do use them a lot – with people I know and want to pass on a private piece of information too. Not to tell someone to buy my books, like my Facebook pages or go visit a website that will just blow their minds. Then again, I’m not a rude and callous idiot.

Can you tell I really dislike the misuse of direct messages?

Retweeting and favoriting something someone has tweeted. Rule of thumb on this one is if you like something someone has tweeted – favourite it. If you want to share it with your followers as you enjoyed it so much, retweet it. Quite honestly, if people didn’t want you to favourite or retweet their stuff… they shouldn’t go putting it on Twitter. Or, if they want it on Twitter they should secure their account so only their followers see it. Seriously… think before you tweet as strangers are out there reading it. My downside is it seems that only times I make a typo or grammatical error are the ones people retweet. I make it through whole days where I don’t stuff up the English language in my tweets… but if I’m going to make a boo boo, you can guarantee that will be the one that is shared. Sad, but true.

Now, there are some strong etiquette rules when it comes to when people retweet your tweets too. If they are sharing something you’ve said just as they liked it… you don’t need to thank them. But if they’re retweeting something you’re sharing like a traffic incident you want to give people a heads up on, or if you’re a writer and a review of your book is being retweeted – thank the retweeter. It’s manners and it’s good to show you appreciate them doing it.

Hashtags… man this one’s a doozy. Hashtags get their name from the fact you always start them with the hash (#) symbol. And then run the words on from there – #thisisahashtag. It looks better on Twitter, honest. You can pretty much hashtag anything you damned well like. I often just make them up as the fact that it is a hashtag is what makes it funny or important looking and it gets your followers attention. However! If you want to use hashtags ‘correctly’ there are some basic rules. The best way to explain these rules is to explain what a hashtag is. They are a form of metadata… don’t look cross eyed as I’ll explain them too.

So, metadata are kind of like bookmarks on the internet. You use them to ‘tag’ images, documents, a tweet as a way for people to search for it for later on. Meaning if someone wants to search on a specific subject, if it is tagged it is easier to find. Made sense, right?

On Twitter the hashtag is the most common form of metadata and it allows complete strangers to come together and talk (or at least feel like) they are talking together and sharing information with each other. Hashtags are most commonly used when discussing movies or TV shows, world events or even celebrities. Most common one I see from my UK friends on a Sunday is #TheArchers as they are all apparently glued to the radio.

I personally use them mostly when talking about local issues. I tag that I’m talking to people interested in #Adelaide and the #AdelHills (Adelaide Hills) and have indeed used these tags for weather and traffic warnings. It helps get information out to those interested in the same subjects. And using the right hashtags is a good way to get yourself retweeted – see my mention of typos.

Other common hashtags to those of a Writer’s bent are #AmWriting, #AmEditing, #AmBlogging, #AmProofing and the all-important #AMProcrastinating. I use these ones a lot.

Why use hashtags? Well, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. In the same way as you don’t have to use Twitter. They are just there to help you connect to people who may share similar interests. This, to me, is the greatest use of Twitter. I’ve ‘met’ some very interesting and like-minded people on it. I’ve caught up with real life friends and made new ones.

The biggest thing to remember with Twitter is the same for any sort of social interaction – it’s okay to have an opinion, but remember that it’s okay that others are allowed to have their own opinion too. And slagging off is just wrong. Oh, I whinge and bitch and complain about things that are frustrating and annoying me, but never at a particular person. You have a beef with someone, take it out with them privately or just walk away and let it go. Don’t make it a public scene.

As said at the beginning, this is just my opinion on some of the rules and etiquettes of Twitter. You may not agree with them all, you may feel I’ve gotten some of them wrong or missed some entirely. This blog post comes with a comments section if you feel so strongly about it too.

And yes, that is my very small view on Twitter after all and simply how I use it. I hope they were of some use and that I see you on there soon. 😉

Until next time,

Janis. XXOO

 
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Posted by on March 7, 2014 in Writing

 

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